The MIGHT Declaration
We, the followers of MIGHT (Manly Initiative for Gospel Heroism and Triumph) are combatting, without apology, the dangerous and unmanly idea that true power is relational and compassionate, not dominating and controlling. We disagree, and encourage you to support and join the MIGHT movement, which reclaims masculinity for an age in need. Let's Make America Mighty (and Manly) Again!
"Jesus didn’t walk the earth to hand out free lunches—He came to build an empire of strength and discipline!" – Titus Ironhand, MIGHT Senior Strategist
"The meek won’t inherit anything if they don’t learn to fight for it. Time to put the ‘warrior’ back in Christian soldier!" – Gideon Battleborn, MIGHT Theological Chair
"If Jesus were here today, He’d drive a pickup, lift weights, and preach about self-reliance. No more soft sermons—just Gospel grit!" – Max Steel, MIGHT Community Organizer
"Christianity has been too weak for too long. MIGHT restores the Gospel to its rightful place—at the top, leading with authority and force." – Valor Hammer, MIGHT Ecclesiastical Authority
"Compassion is fine, but dominance is divine. MIGHT brings the Bible back to its original message: Lead, Conquer, Rule!" – R.J. Dominion, MIGHT Evangelism Coordinator
"Jesus didn’t walk the earth to hand out free lunches—He came to build an empire of strength and discipline!" – Titus Ironhand, MIGHT Senior Strategist
"The meek won’t inherit anything if they don’t learn to fight for it. Time to put the ‘warrior’ back in Christian soldier!" – Gideon Battleborn, MIGHT Theological Chair
"If Jesus were here today, He’d drive a pickup, lift weights, and preach about self-reliance. No more soft sermons—just Gospel grit!" – Max Steel, MIGHT Community Organizer
"Christianity has been too weak for too long. MIGHT restores the Gospel to its rightful place—at the top, leading with authority and force." – Valor Hammer, MIGHT Ecclesiastical Authority
"Compassion is fine, but dominance is divine. MIGHT brings the Bible back to its original message: Lead, Conquer, Rule!" – R.J. Dominion, MIGHT Evangelism Coordinator
How to Join
How to Join MIGHT: The Manly Initiative for Gospel Heroism and Triumph
So, you want to be part of the Manly Initiative for Gospel Heroism and Triumph (MIGHT) coalition? Congratulations! You’re taking the first step toward reclaiming the Gospel from centuries of softness, humility, and entirely too much turning the other cheek. MIGHT is not for the faint of heart. It’s for those who believe that faith is about conquest, command, and, above all, control.
The MIGHT Creed: What We Believe
Steps to Becoming a Full-Fledged MIGHT Member
Advanced Membership Tiers
Final Words
MIGHT is not just a movement; it’s a revolution. Join us in reclaiming masculinity from centuries of compassion, kindness, and vulnerability.
Remember: Only the strong survive, and only the dominant thrive.
So, you want to be part of the Manly Initiative for Gospel Heroism and Triumph (MIGHT) coalition? Congratulations! You’re taking the first step toward reclaiming the Gospel from centuries of softness, humility, and entirely too much turning the other cheek. MIGHT is not for the faint of heart. It’s for those who believe that faith is about conquest, command, and, above all, control.
The MIGHT Creed: What We Believe
- Jesus Was Not a Servant, He Was a General – The meek shall not inherit the earth. Only the strong will.
- Strength is Holiness – The closer you are to power and authority, the closer you are to God.
- Compassion is Weakness – If they wanted help, they should have worked harder.
- Turn the Other Cheek? No Thanks. – Eye for an eye is the MIGHT way.
- Winning is the Ultimate Virtue – If you’re losing, God is probably testing you, or you just need to try harder.
Steps to Becoming a Full-Fledged MIGHT Member
- Swear the Oath of Manliness
- Stand in front of a full-length mirror.
- Flex.
- Recite the words: "I solemnly swear to reject weakness, embrace dominance, and never apologize."
- Undergo The Trial of Strength
- Lift something heavy.
- Stare down a lesser man until he looks away.
- Wrestle a theological opponent into submission in a debate about why Jesus would definitely drive a monster truck.
- Modify Your Bible
- Highlight all passages about strength and war.
- Cross out anything about love, mercy, or humility (optional, but encouraged).
- Replace "Blessed are the peacemakers" with "Blessed are the warlords."
- Adopt the MIGHT Lifestyle
- Grow a beard (if capable; if not, wear a tactical vest to compensate).
- Attend Sunday worship, but only if the pastor preaches about dominance.
- Engage in aggressive handshake competitions to assert your superiority.
Advanced Membership Tiers
- Silver Shield Member – For those who have successfully bullied at least three people into theological submission.
- Golden Gauntlet Member – Earned by proving that Jesus would have absolutely led a nation-state.
- Platinum Crown Member – For the rare few who can convince their congregation that "The Gospel of Power" should replace the actual Gospels.
Final Words
MIGHT is not just a movement; it’s a revolution. Join us in reclaiming masculinity from centuries of compassion, kindness, and vulnerability.
Remember: Only the strong survive, and only the dominant thrive.
Updating the Bible
The MIGHT coalition has announced a new translation: The Gospel of Power, designed to eliminate any suggestion of weakness, humility, or relational love from the teachings of Jesus.
Some of their proposed changes include:
The Sermon on the Mount is rebranded as The Summit of Strength, where Jesus proclaims, “Blessed are the strong, for they shall inherit the earth.”
The Beatitudes are revised to remove meekness entirely. Instead of “Blessed are the peacemakers,” we now read, “Blessed are the conquerors, for they shall dictate history.”
The Parable of the Good Samaritan is replaced with The Parable of the Self-Made Man, where the injured man on the road is chastised for his lack of personal responsibility and told to bootstrap his way to recovery.
The command “Turn the other cheek” has been deemed unfit for modern leadership. The new version? “Strike first, strike hard, and never apologize.”
The crucifixion is downplayed in favor of an alternative ending where Jesus, rather than submitting to death, calls down legions of angels to establish a heavenly empire by force.
In a press conference, a spokesperson for MIGHT declared, “For too long, we have been burdened by a Gospel that preaches servanthood and sacrifice. It’s time for a Christ who leads with strength, commands without question, and never wavers in dominance. Our new Gospel will finally bring Jesus in line with the values that make nations great.”
Some of their proposed changes include:
The Sermon on the Mount is rebranded as The Summit of Strength, where Jesus proclaims, “Blessed are the strong, for they shall inherit the earth.”
The Beatitudes are revised to remove meekness entirely. Instead of “Blessed are the peacemakers,” we now read, “Blessed are the conquerors, for they shall dictate history.”
The Parable of the Good Samaritan is replaced with The Parable of the Self-Made Man, where the injured man on the road is chastised for his lack of personal responsibility and told to bootstrap his way to recovery.
The command “Turn the other cheek” has been deemed unfit for modern leadership. The new version? “Strike first, strike hard, and never apologize.”
The crucifixion is downplayed in favor of an alternative ending where Jesus, rather than submitting to death, calls down legions of angels to establish a heavenly empire by force.
In a press conference, a spokesperson for MIGHT declared, “For too long, we have been burdened by a Gospel that preaches servanthood and sacrifice. It’s time for a Christ who leads with strength, commands without question, and never wavers in dominance. Our new Gospel will finally bring Jesus in line with the values that make nations great.”