A Turning toward Love
From Process Theology to Relational Wisdom
St. Brigid’s Haven is a nonprofit, faith-affirming long-term care facility dedicated to serving elders and terminally ill patients with dignity, presence, and love. Founded by a coalition of Catholic sisters and lay caregivers, it combines high-quality medical support with a deeply relational and spiritual approach to end-of-life care.
Claire, a hospice nurse and practicing Catholic in her early fifties, works on the second floor—known as “The Meadow”—where she provides comfort care to residents nearing the end of their earthly journey. She is known for her soft voice, her gift for listening, and the way she gently holds the hands of those in fear or pain. Her stethoscope hangs beside a wooden rosary, and she often pauses in the chapel between shifts to breathe, to pray, or simply to gather herself for the next encounter.
Claire brings more than clinical skill to her work—she brings a deep, intuitive wisdom born of years spent in relationship with suffering and grace. She knows not only what to do, but how to do it—with presence, with reverence, with love. She has relational wisdom.
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Claire is a traditional Catholic, deeply inspired by Pope Francis and now Pope Leo. She believes in the Trinity, the sacraments, and the authority of the Church—and she also believes in tenderness, ecological responsibility, and walking with the poor. Her theology is traditional, and her presence is spacious and full of grace.
There many, many Claire's in the world. Through them I’ve come to realize something important: as someone shaped by process theology, what I care most about is not the theology itself but the relational wisdom it can support. She has helped me see that this wisdom—the kind that honors love, interconnection, and compassion—can emerge within many theological traditions, not just my own. She’s helped me loosen my grip on metaphysical correctness and grow in reverence for the many ways wisdom takes root.
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I was first drawn to process theology because it gave me a vision of God I could believe in—loving, persuasive, not controlling. But over time, I realized it wasn’t the system or the metaphysics that kept me grounded. It was the way it helped me see the world as alive, interconnected, and worthy of care. And I've come to have my doubts concerning some aspects of Whitehead's philosophy.
Now, I don’t worry about defining God. I want to live in the wisdom that every moment is a relationship, and every relationship is an invitation to love. And I’ve grown more patient with others, too. Some hold to more traditional ways of understanding God, and some are content simply to feel God as Love or Mystery. If they see the world as sacred and walk in love, we’re on the same path. We don’t need to agree on everything to care for one another and this earth we share.
I guess you could say I’ve shifted from process-relational theology in a strict sense to relational wisdom in a more open, less defined sense. The categories of process thought still shape how I see the world—relational, dynamic, filled with value—but I no longer feel the need to hold tightly to its metaphysical system. I thoroughly enjoy discussing Whitehead's metaphysics, and even teach courses on it. But I don't think it's the final word on anything. (Nor did Whitehead, for that matter.)
I’ve also come to realize that God is more than a process understanding of God. The process vision helped free me from confusion and offered me a God of love and persuasion—but even that is not the whole of it. God, for me now, is not a concept to be defined but a presence to be trusted, a mystery to be lived, and a love that exceeds all our frameworks.
Yes, I’m interested in metanoia—a change of heart, a transformation of mind and spirit.
But not the kind that requires people to convert to process-relational theology or adopt a particular philosophical framework. I’m not seeking converts to a system. I’m seeking companions in wisdom.
What I long for is a metanoia of wisdom: a turning toward the world with reverence, toward one another with compassion, and toward life with curiosity and care. A way of seeing that recognizes the beauty of becoming, the dignity of difference, and the call to nurture the web of life. Process-relational thought can illuminate this path, but the path is wider than any one system. It includes those with traditional beliefs, poetic intuitions, or no theology at all—anyone who senses that love and relationship are at the heart of what matters.
I am very grateful to my friend Maria for helping me realize how lucky we are to live in a world where the ultimate good is love, not having the 'right' worldview,
Five Forms of Relational Wisdom
1. Ecological Spirituality without the Process God
Ecological Process Wisdom invites us to see the universe as a web of living relationships, where every being has value and nothing exists in isolation. Rooted in process-relational insights, this perspective affirms that the earth is not a machine but a living community, evolving through time in creative interdependence. This form of wisdom is especially meaningful for those who find the sacred in nature itself—forest, river, wind, sky—and who long for a spirituality grounded in care for the planet and all its creatures, without necessarily invoking God.
2. Relational Ethics without Theology
Process-Relational Ethics affirms that moral life begins not in abstract rules but in lived relationships. We are not separate selves but participants in a shared world, where every decision sends ripples through a network of feeling and influence. This approach draws on process thought’s emphasis on mutual becoming and the importance of empathy, context, and creative response. It speaks to those who want to cultivate justice and compassion without depending on theistic foundations.
3. Poetic Naturalism Informed by Process Insight
For those drawn to mystery, beauty, and the unfolding of the cosmos but not inclined toward theology, Process-Inspired Poetic Naturalism offers a compelling path. It sees the world as a symphony of becoming, where meaning arises through participation in the ever-evolving dance of life. Without positing a divine presence, it finds awe in the flow itself—in the creativity of nature, the poignancy of change, and the surprising harmonies that emerge in a relational universe.
4. Faith Beyond Definitions
Faith Beyond Definitions speaks to those who believe in God—not as an idea to be dissected, but as a presence to be trusted. For many, God is Love, Light, or Mystery. There’s no need to settle the metaphysical questions. What matters is the intuition that something sacred is woven into the fabric of life, beckoning us toward compassion, courage, and kindness. Process-relational wisdom resonates with this kind of faith. It honors a vision of life where the sacred is found in relationship, in change, in the beauty of becoming. It suggests that we don’t need all the answers to live meaningful, faithful lives. This path is for those who say: I believe, even if I can’t define what I believe in.
5. Relational Wisdom and Traditional Theology
Relational Wisdom and Traditional Theology honors the deep wellsprings of classical religious traditions while drawing gently on the insights of process-relational thought. It is for those who remain within a traditional framework—Catholic, Orthodox, Evangelical, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise—but who are moved by the call to live relationally: to love God, neighbor, and creation with humility and care. This path does not require replacing long-held doctrines with new metaphysical models. Rather, it encourages a deeper embodiment of values that have always been present in the tradition: compassion, mutual responsibility, hospitality, and the sacredness of life. People walking this path may say, “I believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth—and I also believe that God invites us to walk gently on this earth, to listen deeply, and to live in loving relationship with all that is.” In this way, relational wisdom does not displace traditional theology—it deepens it.
Ecological Process Wisdom invites us to see the universe as a web of living relationships, where every being has value and nothing exists in isolation. Rooted in process-relational insights, this perspective affirms that the earth is not a machine but a living community, evolving through time in creative interdependence. This form of wisdom is especially meaningful for those who find the sacred in nature itself—forest, river, wind, sky—and who long for a spirituality grounded in care for the planet and all its creatures, without necessarily invoking God.
2. Relational Ethics without Theology
Process-Relational Ethics affirms that moral life begins not in abstract rules but in lived relationships. We are not separate selves but participants in a shared world, where every decision sends ripples through a network of feeling and influence. This approach draws on process thought’s emphasis on mutual becoming and the importance of empathy, context, and creative response. It speaks to those who want to cultivate justice and compassion without depending on theistic foundations.
3. Poetic Naturalism Informed by Process Insight
For those drawn to mystery, beauty, and the unfolding of the cosmos but not inclined toward theology, Process-Inspired Poetic Naturalism offers a compelling path. It sees the world as a symphony of becoming, where meaning arises through participation in the ever-evolving dance of life. Without positing a divine presence, it finds awe in the flow itself—in the creativity of nature, the poignancy of change, and the surprising harmonies that emerge in a relational universe.
4. Faith Beyond Definitions
Faith Beyond Definitions speaks to those who believe in God—not as an idea to be dissected, but as a presence to be trusted. For many, God is Love, Light, or Mystery. There’s no need to settle the metaphysical questions. What matters is the intuition that something sacred is woven into the fabric of life, beckoning us toward compassion, courage, and kindness. Process-relational wisdom resonates with this kind of faith. It honors a vision of life where the sacred is found in relationship, in change, in the beauty of becoming. It suggests that we don’t need all the answers to live meaningful, faithful lives. This path is for those who say: I believe, even if I can’t define what I believe in.
5. Relational Wisdom and Traditional Theology
Relational Wisdom and Traditional Theology honors the deep wellsprings of classical religious traditions while drawing gently on the insights of process-relational thought. It is for those who remain within a traditional framework—Catholic, Orthodox, Evangelical, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise—but who are moved by the call to live relationally: to love God, neighbor, and creation with humility and care. This path does not require replacing long-held doctrines with new metaphysical models. Rather, it encourages a deeper embodiment of values that have always been present in the tradition: compassion, mutual responsibility, hospitality, and the sacredness of life. People walking this path may say, “I believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth—and I also believe that God invites us to walk gently on this earth, to listen deeply, and to live in loving relationship with all that is.” In this way, relational wisdom does not displace traditional theology—it deepens it.