Love, Beauty, and Surprise
The Triad of Process Thought
Photo by David Clode on Unsplash
Love, Beauty, and Surprise
Love and Beauty
Love and beauty are intimately connected because beauty often awakens love, and love deepens our perception of beauty. When we love someone or something, we see it through the lens of care and appreciation, allowing us to perceive beauty even where others might not. Beauty, in turn, can inspire love by stirring feelings of awe, tenderness, and admiration. In process philosophy, beauty is the telos of the universe. It is often understood as harmony and intensity—a kind of aesthetic satisfaction that resonates in and with our feelings. Love amplifies this resonance, helping us notice beauty not just in outward appearances but in depth, character, and possibility.
Beauty and Surprise
Beauty often arises unexpectedly, catching us off guard and inviting us into moments of wonder. Surprise plays a key role in revealing beauty that we might have overlooked, whether it’s a sudden sunset, an unexpected act of kindness, or a spontaneous melody. In this sense, surprise awakens us to beauty by breaking patterns of routine perception, making us more receptive to novelty and the extraordinary hidden in the ordinary.
Surprise and Love
Surprise can deepen love by opening space for newness and transformation. Love often grows not through predictability but through unexpected moments of vulnerability, discovery, and shared experience. Surprises—whether joyful, challenging, or bittersweet—can create opportunities for connection and growth, inviting love to expand and adapt. Process philosophy emphasizes novelty as a source of creativity, and love, when open to surprise, becomes an evolving process rather than a static state.
The Triad in Process Thought
In process thought, love, beauty, and surprise are connected through the principle of creative transformation. Love is the driving force that seeks harmony and wholeness, beauty is the result of achieved harmony, and surprise is the spark of novelty that keeps the process alive. Together, they form the rhythm of relational existence—where, ideally, every moment can be an act of love, every encounter an experience of beauty, and every transformation a delightful or challenging surprise.
This triad also reflects aspects of the divine in process theology—God as the source of loving possibilities, the beauty woven into creation, and the surprises that arise from freedom and creativity in the universe.
Love and beauty are intimately connected because beauty often awakens love, and love deepens our perception of beauty. When we love someone or something, we see it through the lens of care and appreciation, allowing us to perceive beauty even where others might not. Beauty, in turn, can inspire love by stirring feelings of awe, tenderness, and admiration. In process philosophy, beauty is the telos of the universe. It is often understood as harmony and intensity—a kind of aesthetic satisfaction that resonates in and with our feelings. Love amplifies this resonance, helping us notice beauty not just in outward appearances but in depth, character, and possibility.
Beauty and Surprise
Beauty often arises unexpectedly, catching us off guard and inviting us into moments of wonder. Surprise plays a key role in revealing beauty that we might have overlooked, whether it’s a sudden sunset, an unexpected act of kindness, or a spontaneous melody. In this sense, surprise awakens us to beauty by breaking patterns of routine perception, making us more receptive to novelty and the extraordinary hidden in the ordinary.
Surprise and Love
Surprise can deepen love by opening space for newness and transformation. Love often grows not through predictability but through unexpected moments of vulnerability, discovery, and shared experience. Surprises—whether joyful, challenging, or bittersweet—can create opportunities for connection and growth, inviting love to expand and adapt. Process philosophy emphasizes novelty as a source of creativity, and love, when open to surprise, becomes an evolving process rather than a static state.
The Triad in Process Thought
In process thought, love, beauty, and surprise are connected through the principle of creative transformation. Love is the driving force that seeks harmony and wholeness, beauty is the result of achieved harmony, and surprise is the spark of novelty that keeps the process alive. Together, they form the rhythm of relational existence—where, ideally, every moment can be an act of love, every encounter an experience of beauty, and every transformation a delightful or challenging surprise.
This triad also reflects aspects of the divine in process theology—God as the source of loving possibilities, the beauty woven into creation, and the surprises that arise from freedom and creativity in the universe.
A Theology of Surprise
- The Futility of Control – A control-based life, obsessed with predictability and order, can lead to rigidity, anxiety, and stagnation. Process theology challenges this illusion of control, emphasizing that true growth and renewal emerge from embracing life’s inherent unpredictability and opening oneself to surprise.
- Rigidity not Stability is the opposite of Surprise – The opposite of surprise is not stability but rigidity. Stability provides grounding and security, while rigidity resists growth and creativity. A theology of surprise values flexibility, openness, and responsiveness to change as pathways to flourishing, while honoring the human need for grounding and security.
- We live in a Surprising Universe – The universe is a "creative advance into novelty," inherently unpredictable, making surprise a fundamental aspect of existence. The ontology of surprise - its very being - is novelty. Novelty is more than mere newness. It includes the repetition of inherited patterns in new ways and also the emergence of new patterns out of old ways. The universe consists of ordered forms of novelty and novel forms of order.
- God can be Surprised, Too – Even God participates in this openness to novelty, experiencing surprise as part of divine nature and inviting creatures to embrace unexpected possibilities. God cannot be "God" without surprise.
- Pleasant Surprises – Surprises can be joyful and life-nourishing, such as unexpected gifts, acts of kindness, new beginnings, and creative inspirations that refresh and liberate. God is not the enemy of surprise, God is an embodiment of Surprise: that is, of novelty.
- Tragic Surprises – Not all surprises are pleasurable; sudden losses, betrayals, illnesses, and accidents highlight the unpredictability of suffering and disruption in life.
- Ambiguous Surprises – Some surprises are bittersweet, involving moral dilemmas, transformative challenges, and mixed blessings that bring both joy and sorrow. Most surprises are ambiguous, mixed blessings.
- Multiple Agents of Surprise – All actualities - microscopic, macroscopic, terrestrial, celestial, demonic, angelic, and divine - are agents of surprise. Surprises arise from freedom, chance, and creativity, rippling through nature, human experience, and cosmic evolution, reflecting the dynamic interplay of agents in the universe.
- God is a Covenant with Surprise – In human life God’s presence acts as an indwelling lure, guiding creatures to endure tragedy and receive joyful surprises, transforming pain into beauty and hatred into love. God's capacity for bringing new life out of death is itself Surprising, unexpected.
- Surprise means New Beginnings – Surprises, whether joyful or painful, are moments amid which divine grace invites new beginnings, deeper relationships, and creative transformation, reflecting the dance of God and creation in a spirit of mutual surprise.
- Surprise is another name for God - When the word surprise connotes freshness, freedom, and love, it is another name for God. Christians say God is Love. They can also say God is Surprise.
Varieties of Surprise
Process theology lends itself to a theology of surprise. The future is not-yet-determined; we ourselves do not have control over what happens; and unexpected circumstances are to be expected. They are to be expected, not simply because we lack the capacity to predict them, but because they are inherently unpredictable. The universe carries within it an inherent unpredictability; it is, says the philosopher Whitehead, a creative advance into novelty.
Indeed even God, is and must be open to this unpredictability; even God is subject to the creative advance into novelty. It is not simply that God lures us to be open to surprise; it is that openness to surprise is part of God's very essence. God cannot be "God" without being subject to surprise.
Sometimes surprise can be immensely pleasant. It refreshes the mind and heart, liberating it from the illusion of control and making space for the joy of novelty. This is one reason why people - and perhaps even God - enjoy surprises. The surprise of a funny scene: an elephant walking past a picnic table in a park.
And yet, as we develop a theology of surprise, it is best that not romanticize surprise, as if it is all pleasurable. A theology of surprise will not make a god of novelty, as if all that is unpredictable is pleasurable. Some of it is quite dangerous. We live in a world of many kinds of surprises: life-nourishing, tragic, and ambiguous. Consider some examples:
Happy and Life-Nourishing Surprises
Sad and Tragic Surprises
Complex and Ambiguous Surprises
Experiences such as these remind us that surprises—whether life-nourishing, tragic, or ambiguous—are woven into the very fabric of existence. To reiterate: the universe is a creative advance into novelty. This novelty does not have a single source. It arises through the interplay of countless agents—quantum fluctuations within atoms, the genetic mutations that drive evolution, the self-organizing patterns of ecosystems, and the unpredictable behaviors of animals and humans alike. Surprises ripple outward from planetary orbits in distant galaxies to the growth of fungi beneath forest floors and the neural firings in a poet’s mind that give rise to a sudden stanza. They are born of freedom, chance, and creativity, the conditions under which the universe itself evolves.
And yet the creative advance is not the whole story. There is, within the advance itself, a spirit of love: the God of Surprise. This eros is an indwelling lure within each person, indeed each creature, to endure the tragic surprises and to receive, with gratitude, the happy surprises. The eros is God - the divine soul of the universe, itself receptive to the surprises brought about by the multiplicity of agents, transforming tragedy into beauty, hatred into love, as is possible.
Indeed even God, is and must be open to this unpredictability; even God is subject to the creative advance into novelty. It is not simply that God lures us to be open to surprise; it is that openness to surprise is part of God's very essence. God cannot be "God" without being subject to surprise.
Sometimes surprise can be immensely pleasant. It refreshes the mind and heart, liberating it from the illusion of control and making space for the joy of novelty. This is one reason why people - and perhaps even God - enjoy surprises. The surprise of a funny scene: an elephant walking past a picnic table in a park.
And yet, as we develop a theology of surprise, it is best that not romanticize surprise, as if it is all pleasurable. A theology of surprise will not make a god of novelty, as if all that is unpredictable is pleasurable. Some of it is quite dangerous. We live in a world of many kinds of surprises: life-nourishing, tragic, and ambiguous. Consider some examples:
Happy and Life-Nourishing Surprises
- Unexpected joy – Receiving an unanticipated gift, a heartfelt compliment, or a reunion with a long-lost friend.
- Creative inspiration – A sudden idea or insight that sparks a new project, poem, or piece of art.
- Acts of kindness – Being the recipient of unexpected generosity, such as a stranger paying for your coffee or a neighbor helping without being asked.
- New beginnings – Discovering love unexpectedly, starting a new job, or finding a sense of purpose in an unforeseen way.
- Natural beauty – Witnessing a breathtaking sunrise, the sudden bloom of a flower, or encountering wildlife in an unplanned moment.
- Healing and recovery – An unexpected remission from illness, finding peace after grief, or mending a broken relationship.
- Breakthrough moments – Solving a problem that felt unsolvable or having a sudden realization that brings clarity and direction.
- Unplanned adventures – A spontaneous trip, meeting new people, or discovering a hidden gem in a familiar place.
- Serendipitous connections – Forming meaningful relationships with people met by chance.
- Second chances – Opportunities to try again after failure, rekindle old dreams, or repair past mistakes.
Sad and Tragic Surprises
- Sudden loss – The unexpected death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the end of a relationship.
- Betrayal – Discovering dishonesty, infidelity, or broken trust from a close friend or partner.
- Accidents and disasters – Car crashes, natural disasters, or other unexpected calamities.
- Illness and injury – A sudden diagnosis of a serious health condition or an unexpected accident that alters one’s life.
- Rejection and failure – Being turned down for a job, losing a competition, or facing public humiliation.
- Disillusionment – Realizing that someone you admired or trusted is not who you thought they were.
- Unwelcome change – Forced relocation, economic downturns, or unexpected responsibilities due to external events.
- Abandonment – Being left behind by someone important, either emotionally or physically.
- Acts of violence – Experiencing or witnessing an assault, robbery, or other violent act that leaves a sense of fear, trauma, or insecurity.
- Unfulfilled expectations – Hopes that are dashed when plans fail to materialize.
- Unresolved tensions – Surprises that stir up old wounds, unresolved conflicts, or deeply buried traumas.
Complex and Ambiguous Surprises
- Bittersweet moments – Receiving long-awaited news that also carries sadness, such as learning of a new job that requires relocation away from loved ones.
- Revelations – Learning hidden truths that change one’s perspective, for better or worse.
- Transformative challenges – Events like divorce or personal crises that, while painful, lead to growth and deeper understanding.
- Moral dilemmas – Unexpected situations requiring difficult ethical decisions.
- Unpredictable encounters – Meeting someone who challenges your worldview or values.
- Endings that become beginnings – An unexpected loss that eventually opens the door to a new opportunity or calling.
- Unplanned sacrifices – Having to give up something important to care for others or adapt to unexpected circumstances.
- Mixed blessings – Events that bring both joy and sorrow, such as becoming a parent while grieving the loss of your own parent.
Experiences such as these remind us that surprises—whether life-nourishing, tragic, or ambiguous—are woven into the very fabric of existence. To reiterate: the universe is a creative advance into novelty. This novelty does not have a single source. It arises through the interplay of countless agents—quantum fluctuations within atoms, the genetic mutations that drive evolution, the self-organizing patterns of ecosystems, and the unpredictable behaviors of animals and humans alike. Surprises ripple outward from planetary orbits in distant galaxies to the growth of fungi beneath forest floors and the neural firings in a poet’s mind that give rise to a sudden stanza. They are born of freedom, chance, and creativity, the conditions under which the universe itself evolves.
And yet the creative advance is not the whole story. There is, within the advance itself, a spirit of love: the God of Surprise. This eros is an indwelling lure within each person, indeed each creature, to endure the tragic surprises and to receive, with gratitude, the happy surprises. The eros is God - the divine soul of the universe, itself receptive to the surprises brought about by the multiplicity of agents, transforming tragedy into beauty, hatred into love, as is possible.
Beyond Perfect Control
A theology of surprise is especially helpful for those who live with a desire to be in perfect control of their lives. Consider Geoffrey. Geoffrey’s life is - or at least was- a masterpiece of control. Every hour was accounted for, every detail planned. He prided himself on his discipline and organization, but beneath the surface, he felt trapped—suffocated by the very predictability he had worked so hard to maintain. His friends admired his reliability but often wondered if he was truly happy.
One evening, Geoffrey reluctantly attended a jazz concert. The music unsettled him at first—so improvisational, so unpredictable—yet he soon found himself captivated. The musicians seemed to embrace surprise, weaving unexpected notes and rhythms into something beautiful. Watching them, Geoffrey felt a spark—a longing to step out of his carefully constructed world and into the unknown. That night, Geoffrey sensed a lure—a gentle invitation to let go, to trust, and to open himself to the unexpected. Over time, this invitation transformed him. Small acts of spontaneity—a last-minute road trip, an unplanned painting session—helped him rediscover joy and wonder. What once felt terrifying became life-giving, and Geoffrey began to see surprise not as a threat but as a gift.
Geoffrey’s story illustrates one way of thinking about God. God is a divine call toward well-being and wholeness, which sometimes takes the form of an invitation to embrace novelty and surprise, especially for people who are too stiff, too structured.
In settings where desires for stability and predictability have become oppressive—stifling creativity, growth, and freedom—a theology of surprise emphasizes the power and beauty of happy surprises. It celebrates those moments of unexpected grace, insight, and transformation that break through patterns of rigidity and open new possibilities for becoming. Surprise, in this sense, is not merely a disruption but a form of renewal—a reorientation of perspective that invites deeper engagement with life. It awakens curiosity, sparks creativity, and rekindles hope.
Yet a theology of surprise also acknowledges that too much surprise can be unsettling, even harmful, and that stability provides the grounding necessary for trust, security, and healing. A theology of surprise needs, as its complement, a theology of trust - trust that, even with tragic surprises, there is a spirit of creative transformation at work in the universe that can help bring beauty out of tragedy - help make a way out of no way, as Monica Coleman puts it. This making a way out of no way is itself surprising. It is the God of Surprise at work in the world through the provision of fresh possibilities, Another name for these fresh possibilities is Grace, the lure of new beginnings. In this grace we are surprised by God, who walks with us, moment by moment, in a dance of mutual surprise.
- Jay McDaniel
One evening, Geoffrey reluctantly attended a jazz concert. The music unsettled him at first—so improvisational, so unpredictable—yet he soon found himself captivated. The musicians seemed to embrace surprise, weaving unexpected notes and rhythms into something beautiful. Watching them, Geoffrey felt a spark—a longing to step out of his carefully constructed world and into the unknown. That night, Geoffrey sensed a lure—a gentle invitation to let go, to trust, and to open himself to the unexpected. Over time, this invitation transformed him. Small acts of spontaneity—a last-minute road trip, an unplanned painting session—helped him rediscover joy and wonder. What once felt terrifying became life-giving, and Geoffrey began to see surprise not as a threat but as a gift.
Geoffrey’s story illustrates one way of thinking about God. God is a divine call toward well-being and wholeness, which sometimes takes the form of an invitation to embrace novelty and surprise, especially for people who are too stiff, too structured.
In settings where desires for stability and predictability have become oppressive—stifling creativity, growth, and freedom—a theology of surprise emphasizes the power and beauty of happy surprises. It celebrates those moments of unexpected grace, insight, and transformation that break through patterns of rigidity and open new possibilities for becoming. Surprise, in this sense, is not merely a disruption but a form of renewal—a reorientation of perspective that invites deeper engagement with life. It awakens curiosity, sparks creativity, and rekindles hope.
Yet a theology of surprise also acknowledges that too much surprise can be unsettling, even harmful, and that stability provides the grounding necessary for trust, security, and healing. A theology of surprise needs, as its complement, a theology of trust - trust that, even with tragic surprises, there is a spirit of creative transformation at work in the universe that can help bring beauty out of tragedy - help make a way out of no way, as Monica Coleman puts it. This making a way out of no way is itself surprising. It is the God of Surprise at work in the world through the provision of fresh possibilities, Another name for these fresh possibilities is Grace, the lure of new beginnings. In this grace we are surprised by God, who walks with us, moment by moment, in a dance of mutual surprise.
- Jay McDaniel
Addendum
Surprise and Early Childhood
It is arguable that all toddlers are process theologians, They have open minds; they believe in possibilities; and they learn from surprises.
In a paper published in the journal Science (click here) cognitive psychologists Aimee E. Stahl and Lisa Feigenson demonstrate that babies learn by building upon the core knowledge they are born with. When something surprises a baby—such as an object behaving in an unexpected way—the baby not only focuses intently on the object but also learns more about it than from a similar, yet predictable, object.
This insight extends beyond infancy. As human beings, we continue to learn through surprises throughout our lives. This fundamental aspect of human experience invites us to develop a theology of surprise—one that acknowledges the role of novelty, disruption, and discovery in our relationship with the sacred.
In a paper published in the journal Science (click here) cognitive psychologists Aimee E. Stahl and Lisa Feigenson demonstrate that babies learn by building upon the core knowledge they are born with. When something surprises a baby—such as an object behaving in an unexpected way—the baby not only focuses intently on the object but also learns more about it than from a similar, yet predictable, object.
This insight extends beyond infancy. As human beings, we continue to learn through surprises throughout our lives. This fundamental aspect of human experience invites us to develop a theology of surprise—one that acknowledges the role of novelty, disruption, and discovery in our relationship with the sacred.
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