Jingle Bells and Gentle Tears
The Metaphysics of Listening to Holiday Music
My focus in this essay is not on the philosophy or theology of holiday music, but on the metaphysical dynamics of listening to such music, when it evokes poignant memories of the past, whatever its content. If you don't like such music, or at least some of it, I hope you might translate my ideas into terms appropriate to your own listening experience, recalling music you enjoy which "takes you back" into the past in a way important to you. My proposal is that Whitehead's metaphysics can help us all - you and me alike - better appreciate what is happening as we listen.
A word about metaphysics
Many people think of "metaphysics" as the elucidation of universal principles in abstract terms that apply to every instance of experience—principles such as relativity, becoming, value, potentiality, actuality, and so forth. Its language is often abstract, conceptual, and Latinate. Not very poetic and not very concrete.
However, there is another kind of "metaphysics"—let's call it empirical metaphysics—which focuses on lived human experience and seeks to discern where abstract categories, otherwise considered "metaphysical," are facets of such experience. The aim of empirical metaphysics is to help us become more mindful of what is always already present in experience, and it rests content with the mindfulness itself. It can often be best expressed in poems and stories, and in visual art and film. Empirical metaphysics can be danced.
Whitehead's philosophy is especially congenial to empirical metaphysics because, for him, actual occasions of experience are metaphysical realities in their own right, not reducible to more abstract principles. Thus, when we talk about moments of experience, we are engaging in metaphysics, even if we avoid using the term. This does not mean that other kinds of reality do not also exist in their own way. Whitehead, in Process and Reality, speaks of eight categories of existence, of which actual entities (or actual occasions) are one.
Nevertheless, Whitehead emphasizes that actual entities—acts of experience, even if eternal and everlasting in God's case—have a certain primacy (along with pure potentialities, or eternal objects). This is because experience itself is the foundation of actuality. Consequently, Whitehead invites us to focus on experience when engaging in metaphysics, at least of the empirical kind. Yes, we will also need to fly away at times and get the big picture in terms of abstractions and "universals." But the very purpose of getting the big picture is not to control the world with our minds, but to be more attentive to the world in its concreteness - and, so I add, in a loving way.
To my mind, both kinds of metaphysics—the speculative and the empirical—are important. Each offers unique insights, and neither should be considered final or complete. However, my focus below is on the empirical side. I want to explore the experience of listening to holiday music and identify its "metaphysical" facets. In the addendum I offer the bigger picture.
Memory Care
I perform singalong music at local memory care halls in senior citizen centers. My listeners are friends living with Alzheimer’s. I see the looks in their eyes when they hear—and sometimes sing along with—familiar music from their childhood and youth. As I write this, it is the holiday season in the United States, and I find myself singing many seasonal songs. For some, the familiar Christmas carols, like Silent Night, bring the most joy; for others, it’s the secular classics, like Jingle Bells. For most, it’s both.
In these moments, there is often a spark of recognition, a glimmer of joy as they hum along to a beloved tune. For others, there may be a quiet tear—a reflection of bittersweet memories stirred by the melodies. I used to worry about those tears, afraid that I was causing pain. Over time, I’ve come to understand that the memories evoked by these feelings are treasures of the heart. To feel something, even sadness, can be a profound gift. These tears often carry not just sorrow but also love, connection, and the richness of a life remembered.
These experiences remind me of the profound power of music—especially holiday music—to awaken something deep within us. It stirs memories, emotions, and connections that might otherwise remain dormant. Witnessing how holiday music touches the hearts of those around me forms the backdrop of this reflection.
However, my focus here is not on my friends in memory care halls, but on the broader dynamics—indeed, the metaphysics—of familiar music for so many people. I offer, then, a process-relational interpretation of what happens as we listen to familiar music, Whitehead's categories of existence, and his ideas of God and Creativity, help illuminate how music engages us on multiple levels: emotional, relational, and metaphysical. It links the memories of the past, the feelings of the present, and the possibilities of the future. Familiar music, in this view, is more than a cultural tradition. It is a profound expression of the interconnectedness of life, shaped by the rhythms of being and becoming in a dynamic, evolving universe.
Objects Prehended and the Prehending of Them
I best proceed with a distinction that is important to Whitehead but sometimes neglected by his interpreters. It is that, for him, there is a difference between an object experienced or, to use his term, prehended, and the act of experiencing or prehending that object. This means that when we listen to music that takes us back to memories in the past, there is a difference between the past event that is being remembered, and the remembering of that event in the present moment. Whitehead's eight categories of existence can help us understand the difference. Let’s take the example of listening to holiday music that reminds us of past celebrations.
Past Moments of Experience as Recalled in the Listening
The objects prehended refers to the specific holiday moments that come to mind while listening—the decorated tree, the warmth of family gatherings, the smell of baked cookies, and the sound of shared laughter. These are past moments of experience that are vividly recalled through the music. They are part of the actual world—events that occurred in the past but are now brought forward into our present consciousness through memory.
These recalled moments serve as the object of our current feeling and form the foundation for the emotional and experiential richness evoked by the music. They are the concrete, specific memories that anchor our engagement with the past.
Prehensions as Remembering the Past
In Whitehead’s terms, the act of remembering these moments involves prehensions. A prehension is the process by which the past is felt and brought into the present as part of a new experience. Listening to holiday music prehends these past moments, making them available to our awareness in a way that is both relational and dynamic.
This prehension links the past event with our present self, weaving the two together into a single act of experience. It is not just a neutral recollection but an active relationship, where the past is made meaningful in the present.
Subjective Forms as Emotional Tones
Each prehension is shaped by a subjective form, which provides the emotional tone that "clothes" the act of remembering. The subjective form determines how the past is felt—nostalgic, joyful, bittersweet, or wistful. For instance:
The subjective form gives depth and texture to the prehension, making the past not just something remembered but something deeply felt.
Contrasts Between Subjective Forms
Subjective forms can coexist and contrast, creating a rich emotional tapestry that intensifies the experience. For example:
These contrasts heighten the intensity of the experience, making it multilayered and deeply resonant.
Eternal Objects: Timeless Ideals Embodied in the Experience
The holiday music also evokes eternal objects—timeless ideals such as joy, peace, or togetherness. These eternal objects are abstract but are vividly realized in the moments of memory and emotion. They give shape to both the original holiday experiences and their recollection, connecting the specific with the universal.
Nexus: Shared Experiences in Community
The memory may also be tied to a nexus, the community of people who shared in those holiday moments. The music might bring to mind family gatherings, friends singing carols, or communal celebrations. This relational dimension reminds us that our memory is part of a larger web of shared experiences, enriching the prehension with a sense of belonging and connectedness.
Multiplicities: Diverse Interpretations and Responses
Process philosophy recognizes multiplicities, the fact that different people will hear and interpret the music in unique ways. While we might feel nostalgia and joy, another person might experience bittersweet sadness or indifference. These diverse responses reflect the uniqueness of individual histories and perspectives, making the same music a source of varied meanings and emotional resonances.
Propositions: A Lure for Feeling That Calls You Into the Future
The music does not only connect us to the past and present; it also lures us into the future. Whitehead’s concept of propositions explains how music evokes imaginative possibilities for new experiences. For example:
The proposition, as evoked by the music, invites us to respond to the feelings it stirs and imagine new possibilities for action and relationship.
God and Creativity
In process philosophy, God can be understood both as an inwardly felt lure toward the fulness of life, relative to what is possible in the situation at hand, and a Deep Listening, in whose consciousness the universe unfolds. God feels the feelings of all past events—every person, every moment—and weaves them into an ongoing whole. This deep, divine listening ensures that nothing is lost, and every memory, joy, and sorrow is received and incorporated into a greater harmony.
In the act of listening to holiday music, we may sense this divine presence as the cosmic empath who holds all your past experiences and invites you into creative possibilities.
Creativity is also present in the listening. When we recall the past through the music, we exercise a spontaneous freedom in how we interpret and reframe those memories. Creativity is the active process of weaving the remembered past into your present experience in unique and personal ways.
Creativity also includes the fact that the future is not yet realized. The universe is an adventure, open to new possibilities. The nostalgia or traumas evoked by the music never fully exhaust what can be. New experiences, new traditions, and new expressions of joy remain possible, even in the face of loss or change.
Metaphysics
It might be thought that the descriptions above are "merely" psychological and sociological, albeit rich with emotional and relational significance. But in Whitehead's philosophy, metaphysics deals with the very nature of being, addressing what he calls the "eight categories of existence." These categories are instantiated, among other contexts, in listening to familiar music. The account above, then, is not merely descriptive but metaphysical. It explores the fundamental dynamics of reality—prehensions, subjective forms, contrasts, nexus, eternal objects, propositions, God and Creativity—as they unfold in the lived experience of hearing holiday music.
Beauty
Back, then, to memory care. In those moments, I witness the power of music to awaken what process philosophy might call "prehensions"—the feelings and memories that are carried into the present and woven into new acts of becoming. Each song becomes a proposition, a gentle lure that invites each listener to dwell in the richness of their memories while opening to the possibilities of the present moment. Whether it’s the nostalgic warmth of "Silent Night" or the playful joy of "Jingle Bells," the music holds space for the complexities of life—joy, sorrow, love, and everything in between.
The dynamic I see in these memory care halls mirrors the broader metaphysical insights described above. Holiday music, like all music, is not merely a psychological or cultural phenomenon; it is an act of creativity that engages us on multiple levels—emotional, relational, and metaphysical. It reminds us that we are not isolated beings but deeply interconnected, woven together by shared memories, shared feelings, and shared possibilities.
Performing music in these settings has also taught me that the spark of recognition, the tear, the hum, or the silent listening—all are acts of response to the lure of Beauty and connection that music offers.
In these interactions, I sense the companionship of the Deep Listening —the deep, empathic listening presence that feels and holds all experiences. In those shared moments, music becomes a form of grace, a reminder that even in the midst of loss or fragmentation, there is beauty in the act of remembering, and there is hope in the possibilities yet to come.
And so, I offer this essay as an invitation to look deeper into the dynamics of holiday music—not just as a tradition but as an expression of what it means to live in a world of becoming. Whether we sing along, hum quietly, or sit in contemplative silence, music reminds us that we are all participants in an improvisational dance of life, weaving together past, present, and future in a tapestry of sound, feeling, and possibility.
A word about metaphysics
Many people think of "metaphysics" as the elucidation of universal principles in abstract terms that apply to every instance of experience—principles such as relativity, becoming, value, potentiality, actuality, and so forth. Its language is often abstract, conceptual, and Latinate. Not very poetic and not very concrete.
However, there is another kind of "metaphysics"—let's call it empirical metaphysics—which focuses on lived human experience and seeks to discern where abstract categories, otherwise considered "metaphysical," are facets of such experience. The aim of empirical metaphysics is to help us become more mindful of what is always already present in experience, and it rests content with the mindfulness itself. It can often be best expressed in poems and stories, and in visual art and film. Empirical metaphysics can be danced.
Whitehead's philosophy is especially congenial to empirical metaphysics because, for him, actual occasions of experience are metaphysical realities in their own right, not reducible to more abstract principles. Thus, when we talk about moments of experience, we are engaging in metaphysics, even if we avoid using the term. This does not mean that other kinds of reality do not also exist in their own way. Whitehead, in Process and Reality, speaks of eight categories of existence, of which actual entities (or actual occasions) are one.
Nevertheless, Whitehead emphasizes that actual entities—acts of experience, even if eternal and everlasting in God's case—have a certain primacy (along with pure potentialities, or eternal objects). This is because experience itself is the foundation of actuality. Consequently, Whitehead invites us to focus on experience when engaging in metaphysics, at least of the empirical kind. Yes, we will also need to fly away at times and get the big picture in terms of abstractions and "universals." But the very purpose of getting the big picture is not to control the world with our minds, but to be more attentive to the world in its concreteness - and, so I add, in a loving way.
To my mind, both kinds of metaphysics—the speculative and the empirical—are important. Each offers unique insights, and neither should be considered final or complete. However, my focus below is on the empirical side. I want to explore the experience of listening to holiday music and identify its "metaphysical" facets. In the addendum I offer the bigger picture.
Memory Care
I perform singalong music at local memory care halls in senior citizen centers. My listeners are friends living with Alzheimer’s. I see the looks in their eyes when they hear—and sometimes sing along with—familiar music from their childhood and youth. As I write this, it is the holiday season in the United States, and I find myself singing many seasonal songs. For some, the familiar Christmas carols, like Silent Night, bring the most joy; for others, it’s the secular classics, like Jingle Bells. For most, it’s both.
In these moments, there is often a spark of recognition, a glimmer of joy as they hum along to a beloved tune. For others, there may be a quiet tear—a reflection of bittersweet memories stirred by the melodies. I used to worry about those tears, afraid that I was causing pain. Over time, I’ve come to understand that the memories evoked by these feelings are treasures of the heart. To feel something, even sadness, can be a profound gift. These tears often carry not just sorrow but also love, connection, and the richness of a life remembered.
These experiences remind me of the profound power of music—especially holiday music—to awaken something deep within us. It stirs memories, emotions, and connections that might otherwise remain dormant. Witnessing how holiday music touches the hearts of those around me forms the backdrop of this reflection.
However, my focus here is not on my friends in memory care halls, but on the broader dynamics—indeed, the metaphysics—of familiar music for so many people. I offer, then, a process-relational interpretation of what happens as we listen to familiar music, Whitehead's categories of existence, and his ideas of God and Creativity, help illuminate how music engages us on multiple levels: emotional, relational, and metaphysical. It links the memories of the past, the feelings of the present, and the possibilities of the future. Familiar music, in this view, is more than a cultural tradition. It is a profound expression of the interconnectedness of life, shaped by the rhythms of being and becoming in a dynamic, evolving universe.
Objects Prehended and the Prehending of Them
I best proceed with a distinction that is important to Whitehead but sometimes neglected by his interpreters. It is that, for him, there is a difference between an object experienced or, to use his term, prehended, and the act of experiencing or prehending that object. This means that when we listen to music that takes us back to memories in the past, there is a difference between the past event that is being remembered, and the remembering of that event in the present moment. Whitehead's eight categories of existence can help us understand the difference. Let’s take the example of listening to holiday music that reminds us of past celebrations.
Past Moments of Experience as Recalled in the Listening
The objects prehended refers to the specific holiday moments that come to mind while listening—the decorated tree, the warmth of family gatherings, the smell of baked cookies, and the sound of shared laughter. These are past moments of experience that are vividly recalled through the music. They are part of the actual world—events that occurred in the past but are now brought forward into our present consciousness through memory.
These recalled moments serve as the object of our current feeling and form the foundation for the emotional and experiential richness evoked by the music. They are the concrete, specific memories that anchor our engagement with the past.
Prehensions as Remembering the Past
In Whitehead’s terms, the act of remembering these moments involves prehensions. A prehension is the process by which the past is felt and brought into the present as part of a new experience. Listening to holiday music prehends these past moments, making them available to our awareness in a way that is both relational and dynamic.
This prehension links the past event with our present self, weaving the two together into a single act of experience. It is not just a neutral recollection but an active relationship, where the past is made meaningful in the present.
Subjective Forms as Emotional Tones
Each prehension is shaped by a subjective form, which provides the emotional tone that "clothes" the act of remembering. The subjective form determines how the past is felt—nostalgic, joyful, bittersweet, or wistful. For instance:
- Nostalgia: A sense of warmth and longing for the joy and simplicity of holiday traditions.
- Bittersweet sadness: A mix of gratitude for cherished memories and grief over loved ones who are no longer present.
- Yearning or wistfulness: A desire to recapture the magic of past holidays, especially if the present feels more challenging.
The subjective form gives depth and texture to the prehension, making the past not just something remembered but something deeply felt.
Contrasts Between Subjective Forms
Subjective forms can coexist and contrast, creating a rich emotional tapestry that intensifies the experience. For example:
- The warmth of nostalgia might contrast with the sadness of longing for holiday traditions that have changed.
- The joy of recalling a loved one’s laughter might be accompanied by grief over their absence.
- A sense of yearning for the carefree nature of past holidays might blend with contentment in recognizing how those experiences have shaped your present self.
These contrasts heighten the intensity of the experience, making it multilayered and deeply resonant.
Eternal Objects: Timeless Ideals Embodied in the Experience
The holiday music also evokes eternal objects—timeless ideals such as joy, peace, or togetherness. These eternal objects are abstract but are vividly realized in the moments of memory and emotion. They give shape to both the original holiday experiences and their recollection, connecting the specific with the universal.
Nexus: Shared Experiences in Community
The memory may also be tied to a nexus, the community of people who shared in those holiday moments. The music might bring to mind family gatherings, friends singing carols, or communal celebrations. This relational dimension reminds us that our memory is part of a larger web of shared experiences, enriching the prehension with a sense of belonging and connectedness.
Multiplicities: Diverse Interpretations and Responses
Process philosophy recognizes multiplicities, the fact that different people will hear and interpret the music in unique ways. While we might feel nostalgia and joy, another person might experience bittersweet sadness or indifference. These diverse responses reflect the uniqueness of individual histories and perspectives, making the same music a source of varied meanings and emotional resonances.
Propositions: A Lure for Feeling That Calls You Into the Future
The music does not only connect us to the past and present; it also lures us into the future. Whitehead’s concept of propositions explains how music evokes imaginative possibilities for new experiences. For example:
- A joyful tune might inspire us to recreate holiday traditions or plan a gathering, envisioning new moments of connection and celebration.
- A nostalgic melody might call us to reach out to loved ones, creating opportunities for renewal and healing.
- The emotional richness of the music might inspire us to introduce cherished traditions to younger generations, ensuring their continuation.
The proposition, as evoked by the music, invites us to respond to the feelings it stirs and imagine new possibilities for action and relationship.
God and Creativity
In process philosophy, God can be understood both as an inwardly felt lure toward the fulness of life, relative to what is possible in the situation at hand, and a Deep Listening, in whose consciousness the universe unfolds. God feels the feelings of all past events—every person, every moment—and weaves them into an ongoing whole. This deep, divine listening ensures that nothing is lost, and every memory, joy, and sorrow is received and incorporated into a greater harmony.
In the act of listening to holiday music, we may sense this divine presence as the cosmic empath who holds all your past experiences and invites you into creative possibilities.
Creativity is also present in the listening. When we recall the past through the music, we exercise a spontaneous freedom in how we interpret and reframe those memories. Creativity is the active process of weaving the remembered past into your present experience in unique and personal ways.
Creativity also includes the fact that the future is not yet realized. The universe is an adventure, open to new possibilities. The nostalgia or traumas evoked by the music never fully exhaust what can be. New experiences, new traditions, and new expressions of joy remain possible, even in the face of loss or change.
Metaphysics
It might be thought that the descriptions above are "merely" psychological and sociological, albeit rich with emotional and relational significance. But in Whitehead's philosophy, metaphysics deals with the very nature of being, addressing what he calls the "eight categories of existence." These categories are instantiated, among other contexts, in listening to familiar music. The account above, then, is not merely descriptive but metaphysical. It explores the fundamental dynamics of reality—prehensions, subjective forms, contrasts, nexus, eternal objects, propositions, God and Creativity—as they unfold in the lived experience of hearing holiday music.
Beauty
Back, then, to memory care. In those moments, I witness the power of music to awaken what process philosophy might call "prehensions"—the feelings and memories that are carried into the present and woven into new acts of becoming. Each song becomes a proposition, a gentle lure that invites each listener to dwell in the richness of their memories while opening to the possibilities of the present moment. Whether it’s the nostalgic warmth of "Silent Night" or the playful joy of "Jingle Bells," the music holds space for the complexities of life—joy, sorrow, love, and everything in between.
The dynamic I see in these memory care halls mirrors the broader metaphysical insights described above. Holiday music, like all music, is not merely a psychological or cultural phenomenon; it is an act of creativity that engages us on multiple levels—emotional, relational, and metaphysical. It reminds us that we are not isolated beings but deeply interconnected, woven together by shared memories, shared feelings, and shared possibilities.
Performing music in these settings has also taught me that the spark of recognition, the tear, the hum, or the silent listening—all are acts of response to the lure of Beauty and connection that music offers.
In these interactions, I sense the companionship of the Deep Listening —the deep, empathic listening presence that feels and holds all experiences. In those shared moments, music becomes a form of grace, a reminder that even in the midst of loss or fragmentation, there is beauty in the act of remembering, and there is hope in the possibilities yet to come.
And so, I offer this essay as an invitation to look deeper into the dynamics of holiday music—not just as a tradition but as an expression of what it means to live in a world of becoming. Whether we sing along, hum quietly, or sit in contemplative silence, music reminds us that we are all participants in an improvisational dance of life, weaving together past, present, and future in a tapestry of sound, feeling, and possibility.
