Reverend Reirin Gumbel, Milwaukee Zen Center
Moral Outrage, Resentment,
and Self-Righteousness
Buddhism and Forgiveness
Rev. Reirin Gumbel and Dr. Jay McDaniel
We live in an addictive society. Many of us are addicted to substances of one sort or another: alcohol, careers, and money, for example. And if not to those substances, then to inner impulses that become false gods in our lives: the need to be flattered, the need to be in control, the need to be perceived as unique and special, the need to be perfect, the need to be needed. All of these impulses have a healthy side in some contexts, but all can take control of our lives and lead us to harm ourselves and others. They become sources of dukkha.
In addition to these addictions, there are still others that permeate society:
These addictions are everywhere: in social media, on cable news, in the workplace, and at home.
Process Buddhism, a synthesis of process theology and Buddhist principles, offers a range of ideas and practices that can help individuals free themselves from these three addictions and, along the way, uncover the healing power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger, combined with a subjective hope or desire that the person or group we have resented will find whatever well-being is possible for them. It is an act of the will and heart. It occurs by degrees and is a process itself. Such forgiveness does not mean that we like the person or group, that we can be reconciled to them, or that we can or should forget whatever harm we think they have done to us or to others. But it does mean that we break the power that our resentment has over our own lives and move forward, as best we can, in a spirit of love, even for them.
Asking for forgiveness is also important. We acknowledge and understand the harm we have inflicted on others; we hear them on their own terms and for their own sakes; and we act in ways that foster their well-being, in whatever ways we can. Asking for forgiveness is enriched if our request is accepted, but this is not necessary. We can act on our request even if not accepted. We do not need to be forgiven in order to act out of our own need. Asking for forgiveness is often blocked within us by hiding from whatever harm we have caused, usually with a sense of self-righteousness. We hide because we cannot forgive ourselves.
Self-forgiveness includes seeking our own well-being, seeking to grow beyond whatever harm we have caused others and ourselves. For example, if we are addicts, we have caused great harm on both fronts, and we must forgive ourselves at the same time that we ask forgiveness of others. Self-forgiveness is a process. It does not require pretending that we did nothing wrong; it is the act of seeking creative transformation, of healing.
In Process Buddhism, this healing comes from within and without. It is facilitated by a healing spirit at work in our own lives and in the world. Its aim is to help us become whole as individuals and to heal broken bonds with others. This spirit is the spirit of compassion that encircles the universe with boundless love. It is Amida Buddha.
Below, please find some key concepts and practices exploring a process approach to the three addictions and to forgiveness, followed by a dharma talk on forgiveness offered by Reverend Reirin Gumbel, Resident Priest of the Milwaukee Zen Center.
- Jay McDaniel
In addition to these addictions, there are still others that permeate society:
- Moral Outrage: An addiction to being outraged over perceived injustices. This addiction often falls under the rubric "righteous indignation."
- Grievance and Resentment: An addiction to personal resentments and grudges.
- Self-Righteousness: An addiction to being "right," leading to an inability to acknowledge shortcomings and forgive oneself.
These addictions are everywhere: in social media, on cable news, in the workplace, and at home.
Process Buddhism, a synthesis of process theology and Buddhist principles, offers a range of ideas and practices that can help individuals free themselves from these three addictions and, along the way, uncover the healing power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger, combined with a subjective hope or desire that the person or group we have resented will find whatever well-being is possible for them. It is an act of the will and heart. It occurs by degrees and is a process itself. Such forgiveness does not mean that we like the person or group, that we can be reconciled to them, or that we can or should forget whatever harm we think they have done to us or to others. But it does mean that we break the power that our resentment has over our own lives and move forward, as best we can, in a spirit of love, even for them.
Asking for forgiveness is also important. We acknowledge and understand the harm we have inflicted on others; we hear them on their own terms and for their own sakes; and we act in ways that foster their well-being, in whatever ways we can. Asking for forgiveness is enriched if our request is accepted, but this is not necessary. We can act on our request even if not accepted. We do not need to be forgiven in order to act out of our own need. Asking for forgiveness is often blocked within us by hiding from whatever harm we have caused, usually with a sense of self-righteousness. We hide because we cannot forgive ourselves.
Self-forgiveness includes seeking our own well-being, seeking to grow beyond whatever harm we have caused others and ourselves. For example, if we are addicts, we have caused great harm on both fronts, and we must forgive ourselves at the same time that we ask forgiveness of others. Self-forgiveness is a process. It does not require pretending that we did nothing wrong; it is the act of seeking creative transformation, of healing.
In Process Buddhism, this healing comes from within and without. It is facilitated by a healing spirit at work in our own lives and in the world. Its aim is to help us become whole as individuals and to heal broken bonds with others. This spirit is the spirit of compassion that encircles the universe with boundless love. It is Amida Buddha.
Below, please find some key concepts and practices exploring a process approach to the three addictions and to forgiveness, followed by a dharma talk on forgiveness offered by Reverend Reirin Gumbel, Resident Priest of the Milwaukee Zen Center.
- Jay McDaniel
