Finding Traction in
The Darkness and The Light
By Nita Gilger
As I brew my coffee in the pre-dawn hours for the long day ahead and in answer to the short night before, I am pondering a great paradox of life. It is the paradox of holding darkness and light together, and it haunts me in mysterious ways. I have come to understand that darkness and light are inseparable companions that must co-exist. Together, they are necessary teachers. It is the place betwixt and between where great transformation happens.
Richard Rohr friar, says it so well:
Neither God nor goodness exist only in the light but permeate all places, seen and unseen. It seems we have to "unknow" a bit every time we want to know in a new way. It is like putting your car in reverse in the mud and snow so that you can gain a new track and better traction.
We have had a couple of decent rains here at the ranch in the last couple of weeks. With the old gravel caliche roads, it is easy to get bogged down. Until the sun comes out and dries the roads out a little, one must constantly find new tracks in hopes of some solid ground underneath. Over these 10 1/2 ranch years, we have gotten stuck more than once to the point of needing a mule or tractor to help us out of our predicament. A few memorable large snow days have required my husband to take the big tractor out to rescue the cowboys who were out in search of stray cattle. They got hopelessly mired in the snow and mud in places that would not agree to their making new tracks with their heavy work trucks. With the right equipment and a kind, neighborly heart, help was always given and always returned.
In the in-between times of life, the search for new tracks is paramount. What I am trying to celebrate and name this morning is that the "stuck in the mud" days.... those places where light and darkness hold each other.... are places of real transformation and newness of life.
Life is full of transitions—some by choice and some by circumstance. Here are the instructions my grandparents gave me:
“Always be ready. Wear clean underwear because you never know if you will be in a wreck. Keep your house clean. What if something happens to you and someone has to come in and find your belongings.”
In strict obedience to my family of origin’s wisdom, I am clearing out old boxes and files, drawers and cabinets. Nobody wants all this junk that at various times I have thought of as treasures. There is something about clearing out that makes space for new life and goodness to arrive. It is a little painful to recognize that the world and even my own family doesn't want all of my "treasures" but it is true. We can't take all this clutter and all the material things with us when we die. Who will have to throw it all away?
Life is so fleeting and temporal in this terra firma realm. I have never considered myself very materialistic. I am almost a minimalist. However, as I go through all my stuff, I recognize I have A LOT of it and much of it has been put away out of view and out of use for a very long time, therefore serving no one. And seriously.... will it ever serve anyone again if I leave it in boxes in the attic? Probably not unless someone discovers one of my boxes and thinks the contents are a treasure trove where they might find Emily Dickinson's letters or Leonardo's inventions kept with copious drawings and notes. My fantasies take me there once in a while, like how I used to think a movie producer would suddenly happen upon me and think I would be the "perfect" character for a movie. Just think, a star discovered! That was back in my days as a girl when Haylee Mills was my idol. I fancied Mr. Hollywood would see me in action somewhere and think...."Wow! Wouldn't she be perfect in my next movie with Haylee?"
This morning I am looking to find traction in the mud. I am looking to clear a way for transformation. I know I can find it and that it will find me. Sometimes my search will be in the light and sometimes it will be in the darkness and sometimes it will be when the two are holding each other just trying to break through. Perhaps that is why sunrises and sunsets call out my name with such intensity. I instinctively know that the light and darkness belong together to create and new day and allow the healing proprieties of the night to give rest and a deeper consciousness to living.
It will be a sunny day today. Cool, crisp, and full of possibilities. Maybe Mary Oliver had it right when she asked the question: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
That is an excellent question for me at a moment, like now,where I seek to find traction in the darkness and light.
Richard Rohr friar, says it so well:
Neither God nor goodness exist only in the light but permeate all places, seen and unseen. It seems we have to "unknow" a bit every time we want to know in a new way. It is like putting your car in reverse in the mud and snow so that you can gain a new track and better traction.
We have had a couple of decent rains here at the ranch in the last couple of weeks. With the old gravel caliche roads, it is easy to get bogged down. Until the sun comes out and dries the roads out a little, one must constantly find new tracks in hopes of some solid ground underneath. Over these 10 1/2 ranch years, we have gotten stuck more than once to the point of needing a mule or tractor to help us out of our predicament. A few memorable large snow days have required my husband to take the big tractor out to rescue the cowboys who were out in search of stray cattle. They got hopelessly mired in the snow and mud in places that would not agree to their making new tracks with their heavy work trucks. With the right equipment and a kind, neighborly heart, help was always given and always returned.
In the in-between times of life, the search for new tracks is paramount. What I am trying to celebrate and name this morning is that the "stuck in the mud" days.... those places where light and darkness hold each other.... are places of real transformation and newness of life.
Life is full of transitions—some by choice and some by circumstance. Here are the instructions my grandparents gave me:
“Always be ready. Wear clean underwear because you never know if you will be in a wreck. Keep your house clean. What if something happens to you and someone has to come in and find your belongings.”
In strict obedience to my family of origin’s wisdom, I am clearing out old boxes and files, drawers and cabinets. Nobody wants all this junk that at various times I have thought of as treasures. There is something about clearing out that makes space for new life and goodness to arrive. It is a little painful to recognize that the world and even my own family doesn't want all of my "treasures" but it is true. We can't take all this clutter and all the material things with us when we die. Who will have to throw it all away?
Life is so fleeting and temporal in this terra firma realm. I have never considered myself very materialistic. I am almost a minimalist. However, as I go through all my stuff, I recognize I have A LOT of it and much of it has been put away out of view and out of use for a very long time, therefore serving no one. And seriously.... will it ever serve anyone again if I leave it in boxes in the attic? Probably not unless someone discovers one of my boxes and thinks the contents are a treasure trove where they might find Emily Dickinson's letters or Leonardo's inventions kept with copious drawings and notes. My fantasies take me there once in a while, like how I used to think a movie producer would suddenly happen upon me and think I would be the "perfect" character for a movie. Just think, a star discovered! That was back in my days as a girl when Haylee Mills was my idol. I fancied Mr. Hollywood would see me in action somewhere and think...."Wow! Wouldn't she be perfect in my next movie with Haylee?"
This morning I am looking to find traction in the mud. I am looking to clear a way for transformation. I know I can find it and that it will find me. Sometimes my search will be in the light and sometimes it will be in the darkness and sometimes it will be when the two are holding each other just trying to break through. Perhaps that is why sunrises and sunsets call out my name with such intensity. I instinctively know that the light and darkness belong together to create and new day and allow the healing proprieties of the night to give rest and a deeper consciousness to living.
It will be a sunny day today. Cool, crisp, and full of possibilities. Maybe Mary Oliver had it right when she asked the question: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
That is an excellent question for me at a moment, like now,where I seek to find traction in the darkness and light.