A God Who Loves Us
DEAR GOD, I decided not to believe in you. I was upset. Devastated, actually. Tired of feeling like I’m speaking into empty air. But that’s not true. I can feel you almost all the time. I was tired of being in pain. You could have rescued me if you wanted to, but you didn’t. That made me so sad. And angry. So I renounced you in my soul and turned my back. For three solid hours. Did you miss me? I’m still kind of mad. ME
I really like the prayer above, offered by the gifted writer, Bunmi Laditan, from Quebec. It is honest, humane, and human.
For my part, I am not often mad at God in the way she is mad. I've never really expected God to rescue me, at least in a one-sided and manipulative way. From a very early age, thanks to the teachings of my mother and others, I thought of God as more like a powerful and kindly grandmother who misses us and loves us, than like an all-powerful engineer or a cosmic clockmaker who can manipulate circumstances. God was first and foremost a friend, a companion, who loves me and everybody, sharing in our journeys. My mother taught me that Jesus was like this, and that God was like Jesus. That was good enough for me and still is.
Still, I can well understand people who think of God as a rescuer. And I have to admit that I sometimes pray Help to God. When I pray to rescued, I trust that, no matter what situations we face, there are fresh possibilities for responding to the situation at hand. I pray that I may become more aware of those possibilities. I don't think God creates or controls the situations, but I do think God rescues us in this non-coercive, grandmotherly way. Back to God the grandmother.
And when people who believe in a more coercive kind of rescue are mad at God, I don't think God is the least bit offended. God's heart is big enough to include our anger and doubts, including our anger and doubts about God. What I most appreciate about Bunmi Laditan is that she, like me, believes in a God who listens. I think this is what matters most.
- Jay McDaniel
For my part, I am not often mad at God in the way she is mad. I've never really expected God to rescue me, at least in a one-sided and manipulative way. From a very early age, thanks to the teachings of my mother and others, I thought of God as more like a powerful and kindly grandmother who misses us and loves us, than like an all-powerful engineer or a cosmic clockmaker who can manipulate circumstances. God was first and foremost a friend, a companion, who loves me and everybody, sharing in our journeys. My mother taught me that Jesus was like this, and that God was like Jesus. That was good enough for me and still is.
Still, I can well understand people who think of God as a rescuer. And I have to admit that I sometimes pray Help to God. When I pray to rescued, I trust that, no matter what situations we face, there are fresh possibilities for responding to the situation at hand. I pray that I may become more aware of those possibilities. I don't think God creates or controls the situations, but I do think God rescues us in this non-coercive, grandmotherly way. Back to God the grandmother.
And when people who believe in a more coercive kind of rescue are mad at God, I don't think God is the least bit offended. God's heart is big enough to include our anger and doubts, including our anger and doubts about God. What I most appreciate about Bunmi Laditan is that she, like me, believes in a God who listens. I think this is what matters most.
- Jay McDaniel