Learning English in Wuhan
A Chinese Teacher's Story
in conversation with Jay McDaniel
When Headache Becomes Adventure
Dancing with English
Xie Bangxiu (Wuhan China)
For most Chinese students, learning English is like taking a walk in a forest, filled with pleasures and perils. The perils are the problems they face. My task as a teacher is to help them take that walk. The most gratifying moments are when I watch them, step by step, walk out of their problems, confusions, frustrations, disappointments, indifference, lack of confidence, misery, and even hatred, and make some progress everyday. Gradually, when things are going well, they feel appreciated, respected, successful, more important, and thus happier. And in the process of their transformation, I myself am growing up with them, and sharing with them their achievements and happiness. I am walking in the forest, too.
In a Whiteheadian context, this walk is filled with momentary decisions, each of which is irreversible but the best of which can help a student grow. The student is making decisions on how to respond to English, and I am making decisions, too. Mine are in response to them and theirs in response to me.
Call and Response – isn’t this the style developed by blues singers in America? This is the style of the teacher, too. I call and the students respond; the students call and I respond. Sometimes we don’t hear each other, but sometimes we do. Then we make music.
Today’s story is about a fifteen-year-old girl -- let me call her Jiajia -- in her third year of junior high school, who is from a single-parent family, living with her father. He is, as far as I can tell, a very responsible man who cares about his daughter deeply. Her parents got divorced when she was about five years old, and as is often the case, she felt left in the dark, feeling fear and a sense of being abandoned. She could not understand why her mother did not want her any more. And all through her childhood, for about ten years, she never felt safe, fearing that her father would also disappear from her life. On the father’s part, he loved, and loves Jiajia so much that he refuses to remarry, for fear that she might be ill-treated by a step-mother.
However, no matter how tough life was to Jiajia and her father, she had to go to school and receive education. But she had great difficulty concentrating on her studies at school. In order to relieve her of her misery, her father tried every means to make her happier and to discover her special interest and talents. She was sent to learn painting, calligraphy, playing the piano, playing drums, singing, and dancing, etc. It turned out that she loved, and loves music. She was and is happy when singing and dancing, and has become fairly good at singing and dancing now. Thanks to her father’s never ceasing efforts, thanks to music, singing and dancing, she gradually went out of the dark in her mind, and began to feel thirst for knowledge and for learning.
Nevertheless, Jiajia and her father had to face one cruel fact. She nearly failed in all the school subjects, and she had to make up for all of them, for to go on learning in senior high school, she had to pass the senior high school entrance examinations. Her father could manage to help her in other subjects, but he could do nothing to help her in her learning of English. Eventually, they turned to me for help.
At our first meeting, she told me that English was her headache. Although she has had English lessons for about nine years (from her first year in primary school), she nearly knew nothing about the English language, except for the spelling of the 26 English letters. I had a look at her textbooks and notebooks, finding that her textbooks were clean, with nothing written by her; while her notebooks were filled with careful notes written beautifully. I appreciated her beautiful notes, but she did not seem happy about that at all, because, she said, the notes meant nothing to her, she didn’t understand a thing in it. She could not understand what the teachers taught in class, and she was never able to respond to the teachers. The only thing she could do in the English classes was to copy down what the teachers had written on the blackboard, as if she was practicing her handwriting. What she did know about English, by copying notes, was large numbers of different terms of English grammar, such as “现在进行时 (the present continuous tense)”, “比较级(the comparative degree)”, “被动语态(the passive voice)”, “物主代词(possessive pronoun)”, etc., but she didn’t know what they meant. The terms were only a mess of meaningless symbols to her, putting her in total confusion. Whenever she thought of English, she felt a headache. She suspected that she might never be able to learn English well, and was very sad about that. But she told me she wanted to learn it well very much, so she agreed with her father to come to me for help.
I told her I thanked her for her trust in me, because she came to me when in difficulty. She was surprised at my words. I told her she was smart and I believed she could learn English well, because she managed to learn singing and dancing well. She felt acknowledged and became happier. And I told her English is not difficult to learn if she really wanted to learn it and learn it step by step patiently and persistently. If she could do so, even those meaningless grammar items in her notes would become meaningful and interesting, and could be very helpful in her future learning. On hearing what I said, she became curious and appeared eager to start.
I told her that everything in the English language is in a family, in a related system, with its own structures and starting point. I suggested that we start from where she was, the right place to her --- the very beginning of English, the letters and phonetic symbols. She agreed. When we were together, I spoke softly to her, appreciated every small achievement she made. I tried to relate things in English, such as letters, phonetic symbols, and grammatical examples, with people and things she loved and knew well, such as her father, musical notes and the way they work in music, singing, and dancing, etc., letting her know that her learning of English was related to her hobbies, to people and things she loved, and to her own life. I did not urge her when she was silent, and gave her time to think, reflect and integrate. I taught her a little every time, making sure that she understood what I said, and left her ample time for practice in oral and written English. I accompanied her in the practice when needed. I discussed with her about our teaching and learning plans, listened to her ideas, needs and demands, and we made decisions together as to what to deal with when we meet next time…
We spent our time in this way for about two months, with her coming to me once every two days, each time about 2 to 3 hours. We both often forgot about time, absorbed in the joy of learning and teaching English, to be more exactly, fallen in the joy of playing with English together. What we did together turned out to be effective: time after time when she came back to me from school or from home, she told me: she could write down words according to their pronunciation; she could memorize words more quickly; she began to understand what her English teacher was saying in class; she became able to respond to her teacher and peers in class; she could follow the teacher and the textbooks better; she was praised by her English teacher in class for her diligence and obvious progress; she knew more whys and hows of grammar items… and, as a matter of fact, she has fallen in love with learning English with me, and at school as well. More importantly, she has become a much happier girl in her life.
You can imagine how happy I was, and am, at her inner transformation. How can I say no to such lovely children, to such willing seekers for wisdom in English and in learning English? How grateful I am to English, and to my having the opportunity to teach English!
A Whiteheadian Response
Dear Xie Bangxiu,
Those of us in the Whiteheadian tradition have great appreciation for teachers like you, and we see many, many “Whiteheadian” themes in this story. There is no need to call them “Whiteheadian” themes, though. They are human themes. I offer three reflections.
The first thing that is so clear is that you approached this young girl as a whole person. You knew about the circumstances of her life, you met her father, you realized that she was more than a “student.” And in a certain way, she discovered that you were more than a “teacher,” too. You had a human to human contact. She was able to open up the way she did, because you cared about her. I know that in China and in many parts of the world, young students are not always approached as whole persons. The classes are so large, and the demands so pressing on teachers, that this is not possible. But what is clear is that, with your personal touch, she was transformed.
The second thing that rings true to a Whiteheadian oriented thinker is your capacity to see connections between her joys and her possibilities. She took joy in music and dance. You found the place where there was gladness in her heart. Good educators pay special attention to these places, not only because they are valuable in their own right, but because they are the place from which learning proceeds. You know Whitehead’s idea that education unfolds with three movements: romance, precision, generalization. “Romance” is the place where a student falls in love with a subject. Jiajia had fallen in love with dance and music. You found this emotion in her – this “subjective form” to use Whitehead’s term – and you helped her “generalize” it to another subject: the English language.
The third thing that is impressive about this story is your own creativity and patience. It began when you realized that she was trapped in what Whitehead called “inert ideas.” Inert ideas are ideas which are lifeless for the student. They have no meaning and no context. For Jiajia, one of these inert ideas was: 现在进行时 (the present continuous tense).” Of course for some people this idea is not inert at all; it is very interesting. But that is because they have first fallen in love with the subject matter. They had romance.
Jiajia had none of that. She had no romance with English. But somehow you, with your creativity and your patience, helped her start from the very beginning, with ideas that she could understand. And you walked in the forest with her -- side by side. And in this walking you listened to her ideas. It is likely that she had never been listened to in quite this way. That’s the Whiteheadian spirit. Call and Response -- Response and Call.
Jiajian loved and still loved dancing. You helped her dance with English, too. She sensed that you dance with this language as well. You made music together and, along the way, she discovered her own potential as a music maker. Don’t we wish that all students could have this kind of experience? In a way, isn’t that part of what life is all about? What other purpose can there be to life besides dancing?
Jay McDaniel
In a Whiteheadian context, this walk is filled with momentary decisions, each of which is irreversible but the best of which can help a student grow. The student is making decisions on how to respond to English, and I am making decisions, too. Mine are in response to them and theirs in response to me.
Call and Response – isn’t this the style developed by blues singers in America? This is the style of the teacher, too. I call and the students respond; the students call and I respond. Sometimes we don’t hear each other, but sometimes we do. Then we make music.
Today’s story is about a fifteen-year-old girl -- let me call her Jiajia -- in her third year of junior high school, who is from a single-parent family, living with her father. He is, as far as I can tell, a very responsible man who cares about his daughter deeply. Her parents got divorced when she was about five years old, and as is often the case, she felt left in the dark, feeling fear and a sense of being abandoned. She could not understand why her mother did not want her any more. And all through her childhood, for about ten years, she never felt safe, fearing that her father would also disappear from her life. On the father’s part, he loved, and loves Jiajia so much that he refuses to remarry, for fear that she might be ill-treated by a step-mother.
However, no matter how tough life was to Jiajia and her father, she had to go to school and receive education. But she had great difficulty concentrating on her studies at school. In order to relieve her of her misery, her father tried every means to make her happier and to discover her special interest and talents. She was sent to learn painting, calligraphy, playing the piano, playing drums, singing, and dancing, etc. It turned out that she loved, and loves music. She was and is happy when singing and dancing, and has become fairly good at singing and dancing now. Thanks to her father’s never ceasing efforts, thanks to music, singing and dancing, she gradually went out of the dark in her mind, and began to feel thirst for knowledge and for learning.
Nevertheless, Jiajia and her father had to face one cruel fact. She nearly failed in all the school subjects, and she had to make up for all of them, for to go on learning in senior high school, she had to pass the senior high school entrance examinations. Her father could manage to help her in other subjects, but he could do nothing to help her in her learning of English. Eventually, they turned to me for help.
At our first meeting, she told me that English was her headache. Although she has had English lessons for about nine years (from her first year in primary school), she nearly knew nothing about the English language, except for the spelling of the 26 English letters. I had a look at her textbooks and notebooks, finding that her textbooks were clean, with nothing written by her; while her notebooks were filled with careful notes written beautifully. I appreciated her beautiful notes, but she did not seem happy about that at all, because, she said, the notes meant nothing to her, she didn’t understand a thing in it. She could not understand what the teachers taught in class, and she was never able to respond to the teachers. The only thing she could do in the English classes was to copy down what the teachers had written on the blackboard, as if she was practicing her handwriting. What she did know about English, by copying notes, was large numbers of different terms of English grammar, such as “现在进行时 (the present continuous tense)”, “比较级(the comparative degree)”, “被动语态(the passive voice)”, “物主代词(possessive pronoun)”, etc., but she didn’t know what they meant. The terms were only a mess of meaningless symbols to her, putting her in total confusion. Whenever she thought of English, she felt a headache. She suspected that she might never be able to learn English well, and was very sad about that. But she told me she wanted to learn it well very much, so she agreed with her father to come to me for help.
I told her I thanked her for her trust in me, because she came to me when in difficulty. She was surprised at my words. I told her she was smart and I believed she could learn English well, because she managed to learn singing and dancing well. She felt acknowledged and became happier. And I told her English is not difficult to learn if she really wanted to learn it and learn it step by step patiently and persistently. If she could do so, even those meaningless grammar items in her notes would become meaningful and interesting, and could be very helpful in her future learning. On hearing what I said, she became curious and appeared eager to start.
I told her that everything in the English language is in a family, in a related system, with its own structures and starting point. I suggested that we start from where she was, the right place to her --- the very beginning of English, the letters and phonetic symbols. She agreed. When we were together, I spoke softly to her, appreciated every small achievement she made. I tried to relate things in English, such as letters, phonetic symbols, and grammatical examples, with people and things she loved and knew well, such as her father, musical notes and the way they work in music, singing, and dancing, etc., letting her know that her learning of English was related to her hobbies, to people and things she loved, and to her own life. I did not urge her when she was silent, and gave her time to think, reflect and integrate. I taught her a little every time, making sure that she understood what I said, and left her ample time for practice in oral and written English. I accompanied her in the practice when needed. I discussed with her about our teaching and learning plans, listened to her ideas, needs and demands, and we made decisions together as to what to deal with when we meet next time…
We spent our time in this way for about two months, with her coming to me once every two days, each time about 2 to 3 hours. We both often forgot about time, absorbed in the joy of learning and teaching English, to be more exactly, fallen in the joy of playing with English together. What we did together turned out to be effective: time after time when she came back to me from school or from home, she told me: she could write down words according to their pronunciation; she could memorize words more quickly; she began to understand what her English teacher was saying in class; she became able to respond to her teacher and peers in class; she could follow the teacher and the textbooks better; she was praised by her English teacher in class for her diligence and obvious progress; she knew more whys and hows of grammar items… and, as a matter of fact, she has fallen in love with learning English with me, and at school as well. More importantly, she has become a much happier girl in her life.
You can imagine how happy I was, and am, at her inner transformation. How can I say no to such lovely children, to such willing seekers for wisdom in English and in learning English? How grateful I am to English, and to my having the opportunity to teach English!
A Whiteheadian Response
Dear Xie Bangxiu,
Those of us in the Whiteheadian tradition have great appreciation for teachers like you, and we see many, many “Whiteheadian” themes in this story. There is no need to call them “Whiteheadian” themes, though. They are human themes. I offer three reflections.
The first thing that is so clear is that you approached this young girl as a whole person. You knew about the circumstances of her life, you met her father, you realized that she was more than a “student.” And in a certain way, she discovered that you were more than a “teacher,” too. You had a human to human contact. She was able to open up the way she did, because you cared about her. I know that in China and in many parts of the world, young students are not always approached as whole persons. The classes are so large, and the demands so pressing on teachers, that this is not possible. But what is clear is that, with your personal touch, she was transformed.
The second thing that rings true to a Whiteheadian oriented thinker is your capacity to see connections between her joys and her possibilities. She took joy in music and dance. You found the place where there was gladness in her heart. Good educators pay special attention to these places, not only because they are valuable in their own right, but because they are the place from which learning proceeds. You know Whitehead’s idea that education unfolds with three movements: romance, precision, generalization. “Romance” is the place where a student falls in love with a subject. Jiajia had fallen in love with dance and music. You found this emotion in her – this “subjective form” to use Whitehead’s term – and you helped her “generalize” it to another subject: the English language.
The third thing that is impressive about this story is your own creativity and patience. It began when you realized that she was trapped in what Whitehead called “inert ideas.” Inert ideas are ideas which are lifeless for the student. They have no meaning and no context. For Jiajia, one of these inert ideas was: 现在进行时 (the present continuous tense).” Of course for some people this idea is not inert at all; it is very interesting. But that is because they have first fallen in love with the subject matter. They had romance.
Jiajia had none of that. She had no romance with English. But somehow you, with your creativity and your patience, helped her start from the very beginning, with ideas that she could understand. And you walked in the forest with her -- side by side. And in this walking you listened to her ideas. It is likely that she had never been listened to in quite this way. That’s the Whiteheadian spirit. Call and Response -- Response and Call.
Jiajian loved and still loved dancing. You helped her dance with English, too. She sensed that you dance with this language as well. You made music together and, along the way, she discovered her own potential as a music maker. Don’t we wish that all students could have this kind of experience? In a way, isn’t that part of what life is all about? What other purpose can there be to life besides dancing?
Jay McDaniel
当头痛变为探险时
在一位老师的帮助下与英语共舞
谢邦秀（中国 武汉）
对多数中国学生来说，学英语就像是在森林中行走，充满了快乐和艰险。艰险就是他们面临的问题。我作为教师的任务就是帮助他们在林中行。令我最感高兴的时刻是看着他们，一步一步地，走出自己的问题、疑惑、沮丧、失望、冷漠、不自信、痛苦、乃至痛恨，每天一点一点地进步。渐渐地，如果顺利，他们可能会感到受到欣赏、尊重，感觉到自己成功、变得更重要，并因此快乐起来。而在他们转变的过程中，我自己也在和他们一起成长，与他们共享他们的成就和快乐。我，也行走在森林中。
从过程哲学的角度来看，这种行走时时刻刻都充满了决定， 每一个决定都不可逆转，但最好的决定却能帮助一个学生成长。学生在不停地决定着如何对英语作出回应，我也在不停地做出决定。我的决定是对他们的回应，而他们的决定也是对我的回应。“呼唤与回应”——难道这不也是美国布鲁斯（blues）歌手的风格吗？这也是教师的风格。我呼唤，学生回应；学生呼唤，我回应。有时我们可能相互听不到对方，但有时我们能够听到。这时我们就是在创造音乐。
今天的故事是关于一个在上初中三年级的15岁的女孩的——我就叫她佳佳吧，她来自一个单亲家庭，与爸爸一起生活。据我所知，他是一个非常有责任心人，深深地关爱着他的女儿。她的父母在她5岁左右时离异，使她陷入一种黑暗的恐惧和被遗弃的感觉之中，正如在这种情况下通常会发生的那样。她不明白为什么她妈妈不再要她了。在她的整个童年时期，在大约10年的时间里，她从来没有安全感，总在担心她爸爸也会离她而去。而在父亲这一方面，他一直都很爱佳佳，以至于他拒绝再婚，因为他担心她会受到继母的虐待。
然而，无论生活对佳佳和她爸爸来说多么艰难，她都必须上学接受学校教育。但在学校（课堂上），她很难集中注意力于她的学习。为了使她从痛苦中摆脱出来，她爸爸竭尽全力去寻找能让她快乐起来的办法，去发现她的特殊兴趣和才能。她被送去学绘画、书法、弹钢琴、打架子鼓、唱歌、跳舞，等等。结果发现，她喜爱音乐，她在唱歌、跳舞的时候很开心，而且现在已经很擅长唱歌、跳舞了。由于她亲爱的爸爸的不懈努力，由于音乐、唱歌、跳舞，她逐渐走出了她内心的黑暗，开始渴求知识、渴望学习。
不过，佳佳和她爸爸不得不面对一个残酷的事实，那就是，她几乎落下了学校所有的科目，她不得不补习全部功课，因为如果想要进高中继续学习，她必须通过高中入学考试。她爸爸在其他科目都能设法帮到她，但在英语方面他却无能为力。最后，他们来向我求助。
我们初次见面时，她告诉我，英语令她头痛。尽管她已经上了约9年的英语课（从小学一年级开始），但她除了能写对26个英语字母以外，对英语几乎一无所知。我翻阅了一下她的课本和笔记本，发现她的课本干干净净，只字未写；而她的笔记本上却认认真真地记满了笔记，而且书写漂亮。我夸她笔记做得好，但她却丝毫不显得高兴，因为，她说，笔记对她来说没有任何意义，她根本不懂里面的任何东西。她在课堂上听不懂老师讲课，从来不能呼应老师（的教学）。她在英语课上唯一能做的事就是把老师写在黑板上的东西抄下来，就像在练习写字一样。她在抄笔记时确实了解的关于英语的东西只是一大堆不同的英语语法术语，如“现在进行时”、“比较级”、“被动语态”、“物主代词”等，但她并不懂它们的意思。这些术语对她而言不过是一堆乱七八糟、毫无意义的符号，她摸头不是脑。她一想到英语就头痛。她怀疑她可能永远也不可能学好英语，对此非常难过。但她告诉我，她非常想学好英语，这才同意爸爸（的提议）来向我求助。
我对她说，谢谢她对我的信任，因为她在遇到困难的时候来找我。她对我的话感到惊讶。我告诉她，她很聪明，我相信她能学好英语，因为她成功地学会了唱歌和跳舞，而且还学得很好。她觉得受到了认可，慢慢高兴起来。我告诉她，英语其实并不难学，只要她真的想学，并且一步一步地、耐心地、持之以恒地学下去。如果她能够这样做，她笔记中的那些无意义的语法项目都会变得有意义、有趣，会对她今后的学习有帮助。一听我这么说，她开始好奇，显得急于开始（学习）。
我告诉她，英语中的所有东西都像在一个家庭里，在一个相互关联的系统中，有其结构和起点。我建议我们从她那里，对她来说合适的地方——即英语中最基础的东西，英语字母和音标——开始。她同意。我们在一起（教与学）时，我轻声细语地对她说话，赞赏她每一点小小的成就。我设法把英语中的东西，如字母，音标和语法例子等，与她喜爱和熟知的人和事物联系起来，如她爸爸、音符及其在音乐中的作用、唱歌、跳舞等，让她知道，她的英语学习与她的爱好、她所喜爱的人与事、以及她自己的生活是相关的。在她陷入沉默时我不催促她，给她时间去思考，反省和整合。我每次只教她一点点（新知识），确保她能弄懂我所讲的，给她充足的时间进行口头或书面练习，并在必要时陪她一起练习。我和她讨论我们的教学和学习计划，倾听她的想法、需要和要求，然后我们共同决定下一次的教学内容……
我们像这样在一起度过了约2个月的时间，她每两天来一次，每次约2至3个小时。我们俩沉浸于学与教英语的快乐中，更准确地说，是沉浸于一起游戏于英语的快乐之中，常常忘记了时间。我们俩一起这样学习的效果慢慢显现出来：一次又一次，当她从学校、从家里回到我这里时，她告诉我：她能根据发音写下单词了；她记单词的速度更快了；她在课堂上开始能听懂英语老师讲课了；她在课堂上能与老师和同学呼应了；她能跟上老师和课本（教学）的进度了；她在班上受到了老师的表扬，说她学习勤奋，进步明显；她弄懂了更多的语法规则及其用法……事实上，她已经爱上了学习英语，不论是和我一起，还是在学校里。更重要的是，生活中的她变成了一个更快乐的女孩。
你一定想像得到，看到她的内在转化我是多么开心！对这样一些可爱的孩子，对这样一些愿意在英语和英语学习中探寻智慧的求知者，我怎么可能说不呢？我多么感谢英语、感谢我得以教英语的机会啊！
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怀特海过程评价
亲爱的谢邦秀
我们这些相信怀特海过程思想传统的人都极其欣赏像你这样的教师。从你的这则故事中我们发现了许许多多“怀特海过程思想的”主题。不过，不必一定要称它们为“怀特海过程思想的”主题。它们其实就是人类生活的主题。
显而易见的第一点是，你把这个小女孩儿当做一个完整的人来对待。你了解她的生活环境，你见过她的父亲，你认识到她不仅仅是一个“学生”。而且，通过某种方式，她也发现你不仅仅是一位“老师”。你们之间进行的是一种人与人之间的接触。因为你的关爱，她能够开启新的生活方式。我知道，在中国和世界上许多别的地方，年少的学生并不总是被当做完整的人来看待。班级规模太大、教学要求强压在老师们身上，都致使这不可能。但是，很显然，由于你们之间的个人接触，她被转化了。
第二件在怀特海过程思想家看来是“真”的事情是，你能够在她的快乐与可能性之间看见联系。她在音乐和舞蹈中很开心。你在她的心灵深处发现了能够令她愉快的地方。优秀的教育者特别关注这些地方，不仅因为它们有其自身的好处，还因为它们是学习可能发生和前进的地方。你了解怀特海关于教育展开的三阶段理论：浪漫、精确、综合。“浪漫”是一个学生爱上某一门学科的地方。佳佳爱上了舞蹈和音乐。你发现了她内心中的这种情感——这种“主观形式”， 用怀特海的术语说——而且你帮助她把它综合应用到另一学科：英语。
这个故事中第三种感人的东西是，你自己的创造性和耐心。它始于你认识到她被困于怀特海所说的“呆板的概念”，即对学生来说没有生命活力的概念。它们既无意义又无上下文环境。对佳佳而言，“现在进行时”就是一个这种概念的例子。当然，对有些人来说，这一概念一点儿都不呆板，反而十分有趣。但那是因为他们先爱上了这一学科。他们已经有了浪漫。佳佳不具备这些。但是，你以某种方式，用你的创造性和耐心，用她能够明白的概念，帮助她从头开始。而且，你陪着她，肩并肩地，在森林里行走。在这一行走的过程中，你倾听她的观点。很可能她从未被如此倾听过。那正是怀特海过程思想的精神。呼唤与回应——回应与呼唤。
佳佳过去爱、现在依然爱跳舞。你帮助她也与英语共舞。她感觉到你也在与这种语言共舞。你们一起创造着音乐，一路上，她发现了她自己作为一个音乐创造者的潜能。难道我们不希望所有的学生都能有这样的经历吗？或者说，难道这不正是生活的部分意义所在吗？除了舞蹈以外，生活还会有什么其他的目的呢？也许，还要吃饺子。
杰伊·麦克丹尼尔
从过程哲学的角度来看，这种行走时时刻刻都充满了决定， 每一个决定都不可逆转，但最好的决定却能帮助一个学生成长。学生在不停地决定着如何对英语作出回应，我也在不停地做出决定。我的决定是对他们的回应，而他们的决定也是对我的回应。“呼唤与回应”——难道这不也是美国布鲁斯（blues）歌手的风格吗？这也是教师的风格。我呼唤，学生回应；学生呼唤，我回应。有时我们可能相互听不到对方，但有时我们能够听到。这时我们就是在创造音乐。
今天的故事是关于一个在上初中三年级的15岁的女孩的——我就叫她佳佳吧，她来自一个单亲家庭，与爸爸一起生活。据我所知，他是一个非常有责任心人，深深地关爱着他的女儿。她的父母在她5岁左右时离异，使她陷入一种黑暗的恐惧和被遗弃的感觉之中，正如在这种情况下通常会发生的那样。她不明白为什么她妈妈不再要她了。在她的整个童年时期，在大约10年的时间里，她从来没有安全感，总在担心她爸爸也会离她而去。而在父亲这一方面，他一直都很爱佳佳，以至于他拒绝再婚，因为他担心她会受到继母的虐待。
然而，无论生活对佳佳和她爸爸来说多么艰难，她都必须上学接受学校教育。但在学校（课堂上），她很难集中注意力于她的学习。为了使她从痛苦中摆脱出来，她爸爸竭尽全力去寻找能让她快乐起来的办法，去发现她的特殊兴趣和才能。她被送去学绘画、书法、弹钢琴、打架子鼓、唱歌、跳舞，等等。结果发现，她喜爱音乐，她在唱歌、跳舞的时候很开心，而且现在已经很擅长唱歌、跳舞了。由于她亲爱的爸爸的不懈努力，由于音乐、唱歌、跳舞，她逐渐走出了她内心的黑暗，开始渴求知识、渴望学习。
不过，佳佳和她爸爸不得不面对一个残酷的事实，那就是，她几乎落下了学校所有的科目，她不得不补习全部功课，因为如果想要进高中继续学习，她必须通过高中入学考试。她爸爸在其他科目都能设法帮到她，但在英语方面他却无能为力。最后，他们来向我求助。
我们初次见面时，她告诉我，英语令她头痛。尽管她已经上了约9年的英语课（从小学一年级开始），但她除了能写对26个英语字母以外，对英语几乎一无所知。我翻阅了一下她的课本和笔记本，发现她的课本干干净净，只字未写；而她的笔记本上却认认真真地记满了笔记，而且书写漂亮。我夸她笔记做得好，但她却丝毫不显得高兴，因为，她说，笔记对她来说没有任何意义，她根本不懂里面的任何东西。她在课堂上听不懂老师讲课，从来不能呼应老师（的教学）。她在英语课上唯一能做的事就是把老师写在黑板上的东西抄下来，就像在练习写字一样。她在抄笔记时确实了解的关于英语的东西只是一大堆不同的英语语法术语，如“现在进行时”、“比较级”、“被动语态”、“物主代词”等，但她并不懂它们的意思。这些术语对她而言不过是一堆乱七八糟、毫无意义的符号，她摸头不是脑。她一想到英语就头痛。她怀疑她可能永远也不可能学好英语，对此非常难过。但她告诉我，她非常想学好英语，这才同意爸爸（的提议）来向我求助。
我对她说，谢谢她对我的信任，因为她在遇到困难的时候来找我。她对我的话感到惊讶。我告诉她，她很聪明，我相信她能学好英语，因为她成功地学会了唱歌和跳舞，而且还学得很好。她觉得受到了认可，慢慢高兴起来。我告诉她，英语其实并不难学，只要她真的想学，并且一步一步地、耐心地、持之以恒地学下去。如果她能够这样做，她笔记中的那些无意义的语法项目都会变得有意义、有趣，会对她今后的学习有帮助。一听我这么说，她开始好奇，显得急于开始（学习）。
我告诉她，英语中的所有东西都像在一个家庭里，在一个相互关联的系统中，有其结构和起点。我建议我们从她那里，对她来说合适的地方——即英语中最基础的东西，英语字母和音标——开始。她同意。我们在一起（教与学）时，我轻声细语地对她说话，赞赏她每一点小小的成就。我设法把英语中的东西，如字母，音标和语法例子等，与她喜爱和熟知的人和事物联系起来，如她爸爸、音符及其在音乐中的作用、唱歌、跳舞等，让她知道，她的英语学习与她的爱好、她所喜爱的人与事、以及她自己的生活是相关的。在她陷入沉默时我不催促她，给她时间去思考，反省和整合。我每次只教她一点点（新知识），确保她能弄懂我所讲的，给她充足的时间进行口头或书面练习，并在必要时陪她一起练习。我和她讨论我们的教学和学习计划，倾听她的想法、需要和要求，然后我们共同决定下一次的教学内容……
我们像这样在一起度过了约2个月的时间，她每两天来一次，每次约2至3个小时。我们俩沉浸于学与教英语的快乐中，更准确地说，是沉浸于一起游戏于英语的快乐之中，常常忘记了时间。我们俩一起这样学习的效果慢慢显现出来：一次又一次，当她从学校、从家里回到我这里时，她告诉我：她能根据发音写下单词了；她记单词的速度更快了；她在课堂上开始能听懂英语老师讲课了；她在课堂上能与老师和同学呼应了；她能跟上老师和课本（教学）的进度了；她在班上受到了老师的表扬，说她学习勤奋，进步明显；她弄懂了更多的语法规则及其用法……事实上，她已经爱上了学习英语，不论是和我一起，还是在学校里。更重要的是，生活中的她变成了一个更快乐的女孩。
你一定想像得到，看到她的内在转化我是多么开心！对这样一些可爱的孩子，对这样一些愿意在英语和英语学习中探寻智慧的求知者，我怎么可能说不呢？我多么感谢英语、感谢我得以教英语的机会啊！
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怀特海过程评价
亲爱的谢邦秀
我们这些相信怀特海过程思想传统的人都极其欣赏像你这样的教师。从你的这则故事中我们发现了许许多多“怀特海过程思想的”主题。不过，不必一定要称它们为“怀特海过程思想的”主题。它们其实就是人类生活的主题。
显而易见的第一点是，你把这个小女孩儿当做一个完整的人来对待。你了解她的生活环境，你见过她的父亲，你认识到她不仅仅是一个“学生”。而且，通过某种方式，她也发现你不仅仅是一位“老师”。你们之间进行的是一种人与人之间的接触。因为你的关爱，她能够开启新的生活方式。我知道，在中国和世界上许多别的地方，年少的学生并不总是被当做完整的人来看待。班级规模太大、教学要求强压在老师们身上，都致使这不可能。但是，很显然，由于你们之间的个人接触，她被转化了。
第二件在怀特海过程思想家看来是“真”的事情是，你能够在她的快乐与可能性之间看见联系。她在音乐和舞蹈中很开心。你在她的心灵深处发现了能够令她愉快的地方。优秀的教育者特别关注这些地方，不仅因为它们有其自身的好处，还因为它们是学习可能发生和前进的地方。你了解怀特海关于教育展开的三阶段理论：浪漫、精确、综合。“浪漫”是一个学生爱上某一门学科的地方。佳佳爱上了舞蹈和音乐。你发现了她内心中的这种情感——这种“主观形式”， 用怀特海的术语说——而且你帮助她把它综合应用到另一学科：英语。
这个故事中第三种感人的东西是，你自己的创造性和耐心。它始于你认识到她被困于怀特海所说的“呆板的概念”，即对学生来说没有生命活力的概念。它们既无意义又无上下文环境。对佳佳而言，“现在进行时”就是一个这种概念的例子。当然，对有些人来说，这一概念一点儿都不呆板，反而十分有趣。但那是因为他们先爱上了这一学科。他们已经有了浪漫。佳佳不具备这些。但是，你以某种方式，用你的创造性和耐心，用她能够明白的概念，帮助她从头开始。而且，你陪着她，肩并肩地，在森林里行走。在这一行走的过程中，你倾听她的观点。很可能她从未被如此倾听过。那正是怀特海过程思想的精神。呼唤与回应——回应与呼唤。
佳佳过去爱、现在依然爱跳舞。你帮助她也与英语共舞。她感觉到你也在与这种语言共舞。你们一起创造着音乐，一路上，她发现了她自己作为一个音乐创造者的潜能。难道我们不希望所有的学生都能有这样的经历吗？或者说，难道这不正是生活的部分意义所在吗？除了舞蹈以外，生活还会有什么其他的目的呢？也许，还要吃饺子。
杰伊·麦克丹尼尔