Depression, bipolar disorders, substance abuse and addiction, trauma and abuse, grief and loss, identity dissonance, acute anxiety, stresses at home and in the workplace: these are some of the many issues therapists, psychologists, and counselors face on a daily basis.
Love Does Not Control is an anthology of short essays by around seventy therapists, psychologists, and counselors who are shaped by open and relational outlooks on life, and who are particularly drawn to the idea that love, human and divine, is persuasive not coercive, non-controlling not controlling, empathic not manipulative.
Mark Karris, author of the first essay in the anthology, points out that helpers in the open and relational tradition keep five guidelines in mind: (1) be compassionate, (2) invite but don't control, (3) avoid even the slightest suggestion that traumas are predetermined by God, (4) always take into account the larger context a person's life including family and community, and (5) know that every moment is a new moment, for therapist and client alike. These are helpful guidelines for all in helping professions and, for that matter, for all people. I recommend the book for anyone interested in how open and relational thinking about God and about life can offer guidance for effective counseling.
One of the essays in the book is by a drug counselor of thirty years, Hugh Leroy Thompson. This essay is especially meaningful to me because I have a good friend, now in prison, who has struggled with a drug problem since her early years in high school, and another good friend (my niece) who is helping the Commonwealth of Virginia wrestle with its problems of Fentanyl deaths in an official capacity. I picked up Love Does Not Control with them in mind, hoping I might contain insights relevant to each. I was not disappointed. I include an excerpt from his essay below.
On this page you'll also find a video, used throughout the United States, on what it's like to be addicted; an essay by me on process counseling; a fictional story of a woman who found process theology helpful in her road to recovery; and information of fentanyl and drug policy. All represent are follow-up to Thompson's essay
With Thompson and many others in the anthology, I place my trust in a non-controlling Love at the heart of the universe: a universal spirit who forever tries to free all of us from the inner addictions that hold us back from becoming our better, truer selves. Drug addictions are a window into so many other addictions that affect us today: addiction to greed, to envy, to flattery, and to self-promotion, for example. In her essay Sheri Kling speaks of the universal, whole-making lure of God. It is such wholeness we seek as individuals, communities: a wholeness that includes ourselves, neighbors and strangers, and the more-than-human world. Open and relational counselors seek to be channels for this lure toward wholeness, inviting us all, each in our way, to be the same.
- Jay McDaniel
What It's Like to be Addicted
A Journey of Love from Addictions
Hugh Leroy Thompson
excerpt from essay in Love Does Not Control: Therapists, Psychologists, and Counselors Explore Uncontrolling Love (SacraSage Press)
Addiction is a relational dynamic. No one goes down this winding, twisting road alone. God’s uncontrolling love partners with your uncontrolling love bringing hope and serenity. Warning! This is a bumpy road. Any treatment or therapy for addiction cannot succeed without the participation of significant others. God created us for relationships. The Garden of Eden was not complete without Adam and Eve. God wants to love and support us daily. This happens through the relationships interacting with us each sunrise and sunset. God is interactive, according to theologian Thomas Oord. The Holy Spirit is God’s persuader. Persuasion happens through prayer, meditation, Bible study, and spiritually filled individuals. We know God through others, who are angels, meaning “messengers” of God.
What is needed for the addict is equally valid for the dysfunction and disease of the family. Every person in the family system needs “social detox.” Why? Living with an addict becomes toxic. Your false sense of power to control or change the alcoholic is futile. You need to “stop” the unhealthy habits destroying relationships. Discovering your uncontrolling love can restore your sanity but not the addict.
The irony is that addicts can’t recover in solitude. They need love and care from significant people in their life. In turn, this support system participates in treatment, learning of God’s uncontrolling love and theirs. Blame, shame, and guilt are forgiven. Over time, healing and sobriety happen when the addict practices the steps and behaviors necessary for healthy relational and spiritual wholeness.
Beneath the drugs, an addict is seeking God. Spiritual principles and practices are essential in treating addiction. Spirituality affirms that God has created human nature with natural healing. Our souls and body are interwoven. Healing is primarily a spiritual process.
Hugh Leroy Thompson has more than 30 years of experience in the field of addiction. He earned his M.Div. from Candler School of Theology. He was the executive director of a hospital chemical dependency unit and a counselor, trainer, consultant, and developer of addiction programs. Thompson is the author of Unwrapping the Gifts of Recovery (CreateSpace Publishing, 2014).
Mary's Story From Addiction to Hope with help from Process Theology
Mary grew up in a small town in West Virginia. She was a bright student in high school but started experimenting with drugs in her junior year. It began with smoking weed at parties, but soon she moved on to harder drugs. She struggled to quit but couldn't resist the temptation. After few years, she found herself addicted to methamphetamine and heroin. She dropped out of college, lost her job, and ended up living on the streets. At one point she had a brush with fentanyl. a powerful synthetic opioid, that nearly took her life. It was a momentary wake-up call for Mary, who realized that she had been playing Russian roulette with her life. Still, she couldn't break the addiction.
Several factors shaped her addiction. Her parents divorced when she was young, and she never felt close to either of them. She felt alone and isolated, and drugs became a way to cope with her feelings of sadness and loneliness. Additionally, she grew up in a community where drug use was prevalent and normalized.
One day, Mary was caught stealing from a store and was arrested. She was charged with drug possession and theft and was sentenced to five years in prison. This was the third time; she had been in prison twice before. Mary had hit rock bottom.
While in prison, Mary attended addiction treatment programs and therapy sessions. She realized that her addiction was a disease, and she needed to address the underlying issues that led her to use drugs. She also learned coping mechanisms to deal with her negative emotions and how to build healthy relationships.
Mary was not an especially religious person. She was turned off by the fundamentalist Christianity of rural West Virginia. She half wondered if her own life history wasn't the devious plan of an all-powerful God who had set the odds against her. But one day, by happenstance, Mary stumbled upon a book about process theology or, more generally, open and relational theology. The book was called "God Can't: How to Believe in God after Tragedy, Abuse, and Other Evils" by Thomas Oord. It developed the idea that God is not in control of people's lives in a domineering way, but works with them, given who and where they are, to find healing and transformation.
As she read through it, she became intrigued. She found comfort in the idea that her life was a process, not just a series of isolated events. She realized that her past did not define her and that she could always choose to become a new person. This was a revolutionary idea for Mary, who had always felt trapped by her addiction and her past mistakes.
Process theology taught Mary that God was not an all-powerful being who controlled everything in her life, but rather a spirit of creative transformation that was constantly working to bring about healing and hope in the world. This idea resonated with Mary and helped her see God as a loving presence that was always with her, even in the darkest moments of her life.
Through this new perspective, Mary found a new sense of purpose and direction. She began to see her time in prison as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. She attended spiritual groups and meditated, focusing on the love of God and the possibilities for transformation.
As Mary continued to delve into process theology, she found that her life began to change in unexpected ways. She was offered the chance to participate in a rehabilitation program and was eventually released on parole. She found a job and reconnected with her family. Although the journey was not easy, Mary knew that she was not alone and that God was with her every step of the way.
After her experience with process theology, Mary's faith became an important part of her life. She started attending church and found a supportive community of people who were also committed to healing and transformation. Mary felt called to serve others who were struggling with addiction, and she enrolled in a program to become a lay-leader in her local church.
The program focused on ministry to addicts and their families, and Mary found it to be a perfect fit for her. She was able to share her story with others and offer support and guidance to those who were going through similar struggles. She also learned how to be a better listener and how to create a safe and welcoming space for people to share their own experiences.
Today, Mary sees her own struggle with addiction as part of a larger problem that plagues society. She recognizes that our society prioritizes individual needs over community well-being, and the purpose of life is often reduced to pursuing happiness instead of living meaningfully. Mary finds herself drawn to images of a different kind of world, where people live with respect and care for one another and the earth, where they find meaning in fidelity to the bonds of relationship instead of instant gratification. She envisions a society where everyone works together to create a sustainable and just world for all, which she refers to as an Ecological Civilization. Mary's work with addicts and their families is part of this larger endeavor. She believes that addiction is often a symptom of a society that fails to meet the needs of its citizens, and she works tirelessly to help people find hope and healing. Through her ministry, Mary aims to create a community of people who support and care for one another, recognizing that addiction affects not only the individual but also their loved ones.
Mary's vision of an Ecological Civilization is not just a pipe dream; she is actively working towards it. She advocates for policies that support sustainable living and social justice, and she encourages others to do the same. Mary believes that by coming together and working towards a common goal, we can create a society that is truly just and sustainable, where everyone can live with dignity and purpose.
Mary's own journey from addiction to ministry is a testament to the power of transformation and the importance of community support. She believes that everyone has the potential to change and that it is our responsibility as a society to support those who are struggling. Mary's work is a beacon of hope for those who are still caught in the grip of addiction, and a reminder that we are all connected, and together we can create a better world.
- co-authored by Jay McDaniel and OpenAI
Process Theology and Drug Counseling
Effective drug counselors are wise, compassionate, competent, healing - and not all-powerful. To be effective, they need the cooperation of their clients and others in the community. They also need drug policies that are helpful, practical, and caring. In these ways the counselors are like the God of open and relational theology: very loving and but not omnipotent.
My point in saying this is not to champion the open and relational understanding of God. Other ways of thinking about God may make better sense to some people. It is to take heed of a serious problem in American society, drug addiction, and to note that wise drug counselors themselves are expressions of God at work in the world. Like so many other people, effective drug counselors are channels of grace.
The fact that counselors are not all-powerful is obvious to me at a personal level. I have a friend who is now in prison for the third time - this time for a long time, I fear - because she could not break free of her addictions and destructive behaviors that go along with it. As a process theologian, I well understand how her patterns of emotion and behavior, elicited by poor decisions in the past, have been powerful in her life, consciously and unconsciously. Our personal pasts bear upon us, even as we might wish to turn our lives in new and healthier directions. In process theology we speak of the power of the past as experience in the mode of causal efficacy. The power of the past is something the effective counselor cannot control. Nor, for that matter, can God. All creatures are shaped by their pasts and God can only work with the pasts that shape them.
As a companion to my friend, I also understand that, when it comes to drug addictions, past personal decisions are by no means the only factors that bear upon a person's life. Factors can include dysfunctional family life, permissive cultural attitudes toward drug use, poverty and social inequalities, the availability of drugs, including prescription drugs. No one is simply a product of past personal decisions. We are all affected by the specific social contexts of our lives. That is process theology, too. Our very existence, moment by moment, is relational and context dependent. Even as we might have made poor decisions in the past, those decisions did not emerge in a vacuum.
Nevertheless, none of us are entirely trapped by who we have been. Process theologians suggest that we ourselves evolve over time; our very "selves" are a series of selves, not one self alone. The self I am at thirty-six, for example, is not the self that I was at age six months, or age six, or age sixteen. or twenty-six. The soul is not a thing, but rather a journey, a series of selves with an open future.
The effective drug counselor knows this. The counselor knows that people can become new selves, free from addictive behavior. Open and relational (process) theologians know this, too. God meets each of us where we are, with an interest in who we can become, given who we've been. We are in process, and God is in process with us.
Above all things effective drug counselors provide a safe and trusting environment for their clients. Counselors know that their work is, and needs to be, confidential. As the counseling unfolds, the counselor actively listens to the clients need, concerns, and experiences. And so it with God. God is, so they emphasize, the Deep Listening at the heart of the universe, the fellow sufferer who understands. Out of this listening God responds to each person (indeed each creature) in a way tailored to the person's situation.
The effective drug counselor is a channel for this tailored response. The plan always begins with detoxification: ridding the body of drugs and managing withdrawal symptoms. It can take place in a hospital or a residential treatment center. The plan also includes:
Behavioral therapy to help the individual learn coping strategies and develop new behaviors to replace drug use.
Group therapy providing an opportunity for the individual to connect with others who have had similar experiences and to receive support from peers.
Medication-assisted treatment involving the use of medication to help manage cravings and withdrawal symptoms.
Family therapy helping the individual and their loved ones to improve communication and relationships, and to develop a supportive environment for recovery.
Relapse prevention with strategies for preventing relapse, such as developing a relapse prevention plan, attending support group meetings, and engaging in healthy activities and hobbies.
Aftercare with access to ongoing support and resources to help maintain their recovery, such as counseling, support groups, and vocational or educational training.
The plan cannot be realized without the active cooperation of the client and the cooperation itself depends, not on personal choice alone, but also on the context that shapes him or her. The plan can be broken at any time. Plans are aspirational and often in process. Often, we must make new plans.
And so it with God. God's hopes for a person, God's plan, is not fixed and ordained from the dawn of creation. God's plan unfolds with the client's response and depends on the response for the hopes to be realized. God's plan is in process.
What is it, then, that the addict is seeking? Hugh Leroy Thompson believes that it is God:
Beneath the drugs, an addict is seeking God. Spiritual principles and practices are essential in treating addiction. Spirituality affirms that God has created human nature with natural healing. Our souls and body are interwoven. Healing is primarily a spiritual process.
Of course, God has many names: Love, Peace, Happiness, Balance, Freedom, Creativity, Joy. Truth be told, the drug counselor seeks the same. From a process perspective each human heart yearns for qualities of heart and mind that are rich, satisfying, beautiful, and loving. The God whom they seek is not isolated from the world as an object in the sky; this God is, as they say, open and relational, connected to each and all. Our yearning for God is a yearning for rich connections, for being "with" the world and thus "with" God who is with the world. Within each of us, says Sheri Kling, is a "universal lure toward healing and whole-making." This is universal lure, say process theologians, is also a receptive companion, a deep Listening, in whose consciousness the universe unfolds. The addict and the counselor are themselves within this loving presence, however named or unnamed. It is this that they seek, as do we all.
- Jay McDaniel, 4/30/2023
Conversations about Fentanyl
BBC
Fentanyl is a potentially deadly synthetic opioid. It’s been around since the 1960s and small doses are used safely every day by medics for pain relief. But as an illegal drug, Fentanyl is blamed for more than 70,000 deaths in the US every year. We bring together two parents who lost children to the drug. .
- BBC
Who dies from Fentanyl?
The fenotyl crisis is a serious public health issue that involves the widespread use and overdose of illicitly manufactured fentanyl, a synthetic opioid that is much more potent than heroin or morphine. According to the CDC1, more than 56,000 people died from overdoses involving synthetic opioids like fentanyl in 2020, and the number is still rising. The demographics of fentanyl overdose are diverse and changing over time. According to a study by the National Institute on Drug Abuse2, the “typical” fentanyl overdose victim in 1991 was 32.5 years old, male (78%), and Caucasian (50%).
However, more recent data from the CDC1 and other sources suggest that fentanyl overdose is affecting people of all ages, genders, and racial/ethnic groups, as well as different geographic regions and socioeconomic statuses. Some factors that may contribute to the variation in demographics include the availability and purity of fentanyl, the mixing of fentanyl with other drugs, the lack of awareness and testing of fentanyl-laced drugs, and the barriers to accessing treatment and harm reduction services.
- Bing
Proposed Solutions to the Drug Crisis in the US
The drug crisis in the US is a complex and multifaceted problem that requires a comprehensive and coordinated response from various sectors and stakeholders. Some of the key proposals for solving the drug crisis are:
These are some of the possible solutions to address the drug crisis in the US, but they are not exhaustive or mutually exclusive. A holistic and evidence-based approach is needed to tackle this public health emergency.
The drug crisis in America is not only a medical or legal issue, but also a social and cultural one. Therefore, some of the social and cultural changes that are needed to help respond to the drug crisis are:
These are some of the possible social and cultural changes that can help respond to the drug crisis in America, but they are not exhaustive or mutually exclusive. A holistic and evidence-based approach is needed to tackle this public health emergency.