I Want a House with a Crowded Table

and a place by the fire for everyone, except maybe uncle Bob.

​the door is always open; your picture's on my wall;
​ everyone's a little broken; and everyone belongs.
​

Crowded Table Lyrics

You can hold my hand
When you need to let go
I can be your mountain
When you're feeling valley-low
I can be your streetlight
Showing you the way home
You can hold my hand
When you need to let go
I want a house with a crowded table
And a place by the fire for everyone
Let us take on the world while we're young and able
And bring us back together when the day is done
If we want a garden
We're gonna have to sow the seed
Plant a little happiness
Let the roots run deep
If it's love that we give
Then it's love that we reap
If we want a garden
We're gonna have to sow the seed
Yeah I want a house with a crowded table
And a place by the fire for everyone
Let us take on the world while we're young and able
And bring us back together when the day is done
The door is always open
Your picture's on my wall
Everyone's a little broken
And everyone belongs
Yeah, everyone belongs
I want a house with a crowded table
And a place by the fire for everyone
Let us take on the world while we're young and able
And bring us back together when the day is done
And bring us back together when the day is done

Songwriters: Lori Mckenna / Natalie Nicole Hemby / Brandi Carlile

Crowded Table Prayer

Can we talk?
​
I’m good with the idea that my home should have an inclusive and hospitable table and a place by the fire for everyone.  I believe in love and hospitality. 

But what about Bob?  I'm sure Ypu know what I mean.  His personality rankles; his values are obscene; he thinks he's right about everything; he never listens; he makes a god of his own beliefs; and he thinks people like me are deplorable.  For starters!

Our scripture says that what makes you You is that You love us all and have a wide and spacious heart.  We are an open and relational church.  But help me get this right?  Everyone belongs?

Even the people with whom I disagree so vehemently on political matters, because they represent so much that I despise? 

Even the people who have harmed me or, worse, harmed others?  The real sinners!

Even the people who are heartless and bigoted and selfish and greedy?

Even the people who aren’t liberal and open-minded like me?

(Alt: Even the people who aren’t conservative and right-thinking like me?)

Is the door open for them, too?  Do they have a place at Your crowded table?  Should I include them in the warmth of my household? 

Even uncle Bob?  Please give me tips on how to do this.
​
Your faithful but conflicted servant.

U

Ten Tips for Getting Along with People
with whom you Disagree
​

Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D.
reposted from Psychology Today (Nov, 22 2016)

​

1. "Appreciate the value of diversity. When you and those in your network feel compelled to arrive at the same viewpoints, it will be painfully difficult for you to experience a division between you and anyone else. We gain from sharing opinions and, in the process, feel more invested in society at large.
   
   
2. Listen to the other side with an open mind. Diversity of opinions means just that. Recognizing that you can learn from each other is a sign of a healthy relationship with those you care about.
   
   
3. Think before you voice your own opinion: Will you be able to justify it? A poorly-conceived argument will only place you on the defensive when you realize its weaknesses. Don’t set yourself up for being shot down—it will only contribute to bad feelings.
   
   
4. Keep your cool even when the conversation gets hot. Being able to appreciate diversity means that you don’t go off the deep end when someone expresses a dissenting opinion. If you let your emotions get in the way of your logic, you’ll not only lose the argument, but further contribute to animosity in the room.
   
   
5. Try to find common ground on which you can agree. It may seem impossible at the time to acknowledge the validity of someone else’s argument, but adults should be able to appreciate the gray between the black and white of your viewpoints.
   
   
6. Don’t drag others into the debate. Keep things focused on you and whoever you’re having the disagreement with. Trying to form coalitions or sides will only escalate bad feelings.
   
   
7. Avoid personal insults. It probably goes without saying that you should keep your communication respectful. There’s no reason to start assaulting someone else’s personal qualities because you happen to have differing views.
   
   
8. Keep a sense of humor. Even when serious differences of opinion are being discussed, try to find ways to maintain your perspective. See if there are humorous aspects in your diversity of opinions, and allow those to balance out the negative.
   
   
9. Try to change the person’s mind, but don’t persist if it’s not working. Once you get past a certain point, nothing you say will matter. It's best to move on and talk about your areas of shared interests and views.
   
   
10. Reinforce the positive feelings you have toward each other, despite your differences. If your relationship is long and strong enough, this too shall pass. Events external to you and those with whom you differ eventually alter one, or both, of your opinions. Continuing to maintain an air of openness and mutual respect will allow you to survive the changing political and social environment."