God and Sympathetic Joy
A Lesson for Open and Relational
Theologians from Buddhism
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash
The Lesson
It is not enough to say that God shares in the suffering of living beings. It is important to recognize that God shares in the joys of living beings, and that in this sharing God is free from resentment and jealousy. God is not like a king on a throne who demands allegiance and who is jealous when attention is turned elsewhere. God is like a mother (or father) who is a companion to joys in the world. God is a Lord of sympathetic joy, a Lord of Muditā.
This insight can be especially important to open and relational (process) theologians who emphasize, but sometimes overemphasize, that God is a fellow sufferer. Perhaps they - we - can get help from the God of whom Thomas Oord speaks in Pluriform Love: An Open and Relational Theology of Well-Being. He proposes that the divinely spacious Love in whose presence we live and move and have our being is characterized by many forms of love, one of which is being with the world in a caring way. He calls it "alongside of" love.
Buddhists remind us that one of the deepest forms of alongside love is sympathetic joy, Muditā. Process theology shows how this alongside love is not simply an understanding of creaturely joy from a distance, but a sharing in it: a feeling of creaturely feelings in a sympathetic way. A God without Muditā. is incomplete, preoccupied with the suffering and neglectful of joy. A God with Muditā is more completely loving, more completely open and relational, more completely pluriform.
This is one of many, many lessons Christians can learn from Buddhism. It points in the direction of an open and relational Buddhism that sees God is a cosmic Bodhisattva, without beginning or end, who is the radiant life in which the universe unfolds.
- Jay McDaniel, 4/2/2022
What Is Sympathetic Joy and How Can You Feel More of It?
Science is discovering how we can be happy with other people and why that's good for us.
BY JEREMY ADAM SMITH | MARCH 1, 2022
"Our cats love my partner. When presented with two laps, the cats will choose hers, almost every time. In the morning, our kitten Leif nurses on her shoulder, his little paws making biscuits.
Am I jealous? Nope. I feel really happy seeing a woman I love being adored by cats I love.
Scientists have a name for this feeling, which they borrowed from the Buddhist ethic of Muditā: sympathetic joy, which is sometimes called appreciative joy, empathic joy, vicarious reward, or (more broadly) positive empathy. By whatever name, it’s the unadulterated goodness we feel when something good happens for someone else.
That sounds great, but there are times when it can be hard to feel sympathetic joy, yes? Especially if we’re feeling personally threatened or unhappy with our own lives. There are many unpleasant emotions that can diminish the opportunity to share in other people’s joy: fear, jealousy, envy, stress, and resentment, among others.
Even if we do experience sympathetic joy with most people most of the time, there will still be times when we just want that warm fluffy cat on our own laps instead of someone else’s, or fall into despair over why the cat (or our boss, or the world) doesn’t like us as much.
Research is starting to document why sympathetic joy happens and when it doesn’t. It’s discovering as well why sympathetic joy is good for us and good for the people around us—and how we can cultivate more of it in our lives. Here’s a rundown of what the research so far suggests...more.
Am I jealous? Nope. I feel really happy seeing a woman I love being adored by cats I love.
Scientists have a name for this feeling, which they borrowed from the Buddhist ethic of Muditā: sympathetic joy, which is sometimes called appreciative joy, empathic joy, vicarious reward, or (more broadly) positive empathy. By whatever name, it’s the unadulterated goodness we feel when something good happens for someone else.
That sounds great, but there are times when it can be hard to feel sympathetic joy, yes? Especially if we’re feeling personally threatened or unhappy with our own lives. There are many unpleasant emotions that can diminish the opportunity to share in other people’s joy: fear, jealousy, envy, stress, and resentment, among others.
Even if we do experience sympathetic joy with most people most of the time, there will still be times when we just want that warm fluffy cat on our own laps instead of someone else’s, or fall into despair over why the cat (or our boss, or the world) doesn’t like us as much.
Research is starting to document why sympathetic joy happens and when it doesn’t. It’s discovering as well why sympathetic joy is good for us and good for the people around us—and how we can cultivate more of it in our lives. Here’s a rundown of what the research so far suggests...more.
Muditā
Relishing the Joy of Others
Muditā (Pāli and Sanskrit: मुदिता) means joy; especially sympathetic or vicarious joy, or the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being.
The traditional paradigmatic example of this mind-state is the attitude of a parent observing a growing child's accomplishments and successes. Mudita should not be confused with pride, as a person feeling mudita may not have any benefit or direct income from the accomplishments of the other. Mudita is a pure joy unadulterated by self-interest.
Mudita meditation is used to cultivate appreciative joy at the success and good fortune of others.
The Awakened One, Lord Buddha, said:
"Here, O, Monks, a disciple lets his mind pervade one quarter of the world with thoughts of unselfish joy, and so the second, and so the third, and so the fourth. And thus the whole wide world, above, below, around, everywhere and equally, he continues to pervade with a heart of unselfish joy, abundant, grown great, measureless, without hostility or ill-will."
Buddhist teachers interpret mudita more broadly as an inner spring of infinite joy that is available to everyone at all times, regardless of circumstances.
The more deeply one drinks of this spring,
the more securely one becomes in one's own abundant happiness,
the more bountiful it becomes to relish the joy of other people.
Joy is also traditionally regarded as the most difficult to cultivate of the four immeasurables (brahmavihārā: also "four sublime attitudes"). To show joy is to celebrate happiness and achievement in others even when we are facing tragedy ourselves.
According to Buddhist teacher Ayya Khema showing joy towards sadistic pleasure is wrong. Here there should instead be compassion (karuṇā).
The "far enemies" of joy are jealousy (envy) and greed, mind-states in obvious opposition. Joy's "near enemy," the quality which superficially resembles joy but is in fact more subtly in opposition to it, is exhilaration, described as a grasping at pleasant experience out of a sense of insufficiency or lack.
The mudita concept is also found in the Christian scriptures. The apostle Paul said, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15) Paul also said, using the metaphor of followers of Jesus being a body, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." (1 Corinthians 12:26)
- Wikipedia
The traditional paradigmatic example of this mind-state is the attitude of a parent observing a growing child's accomplishments and successes. Mudita should not be confused with pride, as a person feeling mudita may not have any benefit or direct income from the accomplishments of the other. Mudita is a pure joy unadulterated by self-interest.
Mudita meditation is used to cultivate appreciative joy at the success and good fortune of others.
The Awakened One, Lord Buddha, said:
"Here, O, Monks, a disciple lets his mind pervade one quarter of the world with thoughts of unselfish joy, and so the second, and so the third, and so the fourth. And thus the whole wide world, above, below, around, everywhere and equally, he continues to pervade with a heart of unselfish joy, abundant, grown great, measureless, without hostility or ill-will."
Buddhist teachers interpret mudita more broadly as an inner spring of infinite joy that is available to everyone at all times, regardless of circumstances.
The more deeply one drinks of this spring,
the more securely one becomes in one's own abundant happiness,
the more bountiful it becomes to relish the joy of other people.
Joy is also traditionally regarded as the most difficult to cultivate of the four immeasurables (brahmavihārā: also "four sublime attitudes"). To show joy is to celebrate happiness and achievement in others even when we are facing tragedy ourselves.
According to Buddhist teacher Ayya Khema showing joy towards sadistic pleasure is wrong. Here there should instead be compassion (karuṇā).
The "far enemies" of joy are jealousy (envy) and greed, mind-states in obvious opposition. Joy's "near enemy," the quality which superficially resembles joy but is in fact more subtly in opposition to it, is exhilaration, described as a grasping at pleasant experience out of a sense of insufficiency or lack.
The mudita concept is also found in the Christian scriptures. The apostle Paul said, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15) Paul also said, using the metaphor of followers of Jesus being a body, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." (1 Corinthians 12:26)
- Wikipedia
Confessions of a Christian
influenced by Buddhism
I am a Christian influenced by Buddhism. See "Can a Christian be a Buddhist, too?" The particular kind of Buddhism that shaped by early life was Zen Buddhism, but more recently I am also nourished by Pure Land Buddhism with its idea of a cosmic Bodhisattva, Amida Buddha, who embraces the universe with grandmotherly love. She is the Buddha of Immeasurable Light and Life.
Buddhists tell us that one of the most difficult forms of love we can embody is sympathetic joy. This is the joy of sharing in the happiness of others, even if we don't care for them. We are happy that they are happy in innocent and healthy way, not unlike the way in which a loving grandmother is happy at the happiness of her children.
The challenge for me and for most of us is to grow into this kind of delight for people we don't care for. Two states of mind get in the way: jealousy and resentment. The jealousy is clear enough. We constantly compare ourselves to others, and we are jealous of those who are happier them we are, especially if we are suffering ourselves. The resentment may feel justified. The people at issue may be, in our minds, immoral or even evil. They may cause harm to others, to us, and to our planet. We resent them.
I won't pretend that this resentment is easy to overcome, but I find helpful the lovingkindness meditation offered by Buddhism. It is to spend some time each day holding people in prayer, wishing them well. You start with yourself, then turn to people you already love, then to people whom you might tend to ignore, and then to people you don't like. In each instance you say something like: "May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be content."
My wife and I practice this meditation every day and, as you might guess, the two hardest ones to pray for this way are ourselves and those whom we don't like and whom we may consider "evil."
Usually the latter are not people we know, but rather people we know about: certain politicians, for example, or political despots. Consider a politician with who repulses you and imagine saying, in your mind, "May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be content." You do not approve of them or what they do, but you wish them well, willing their well-being. This internal act of willing is an antidote to the kind of resentment that can burn you up.
At least so my wife and I find. We find that, over time, the meditation opens up a space in our hearts where we can be just a little more generous and, for that matter, free of the afflictions of jealousy and resentment.
Which takes me back to God the cosmic Bodhisattva. Buddhism invites us to imagine celestial Bodhisattvas as having such liberated minds. Of course the Bodhisattvas share in the sufferings of all living beings with hopes that their sufferings may cease. Kuan Yin is a goddess of tears. But Bodhisattvas also share in the joys of all living beings, with a delight in their joys. Not sadistic or self-centered joys, but natural and spontaneous joys: spontaneous laughter, healthy friendships, simple fun, good sleep. The Bodhisattva is not jealous of worldly joy, she is gladdened by them. Her freedom from jealousy is a freedom for love.
Open and relational (process) theologians are well-known for saying that God is a fellow-sufferer who understands. God is a God of compassion. The process cosmology offers a specific way of understanding how this is the case. It presents God as a bodhisattva-like Soul of the universe and proposes that this Soul feels the feelings of all other beings in an empathic and understanding way. The actual entity at issue may be very small, very large, or somewhere in between. It can be a momentary event within the depths of an atom, or a momentary experience within the life of a living cell, or a momentary human experience. If there are living beings on other planets, the Soul will likewise feel their feelings.
Back, then, so sympathetic joy. It follows from what is said above that, if God shares in the suffering of living beings, God will also share in the joys. God is a fellow enjoyer who understands. Our need, as humans, is to learn to be more godlike: to share in the joy.
- Jay McDaniel
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What Is Sympathetic Joy and How Can You Feel More of It?
Science is discovering how we can be happy with other people and why that's good for us.
BY JEREMY ADAM SMITH | MARCH 1, 2022
Our cats love my partner. When presented with two laps, the cats will choose hers, almost every time. In the morning, our kitten Leif nurses on her shoulder, his little paws making biscuits.
Am I jealous? Nope. I feel really happy seeing a woman I love being adored by cats I love.
Scientists have a name for this feeling, which they borrowed from the Buddhist ethic of Muditā: sympathetic joy, which is sometimes called appreciative joy, empathic joy, vicarious reward, or (more broadly) positive empathy. By whatever name, it’s the unadulterated goodness we feel when something good happens for someone else.
That sounds great, but there are times when it can be hard to feel sympathetic joy, yes? Especially if we’re feeling personally threatened or unhappy with our own lives. There are many unpleasant emotions that can diminish the opportunity to share in other people’s joy: fear, jealousy, envy, stress, and resentment, among others.
Even if we do experience sympathetic joy with most people most of the time, there will still be times when we just want that warm fluffy cat on our own laps instead of someone else’s, or fall into despair over why the cat (or our boss, or the world) doesn’t like us as much. Research is starting to document why sympathetic joy happens and when it doesn’t. It’s discovering as well why sympathetic joy is good for us and good for the people around us—and how we can cultivate more of it in our lives. Here’s a rundown of what the research so far suggests.
The rewards of sympathetic joy
Sympathetic joy might sound noble, but what’s in it for you?
I’m kidding, sort of—in fact, there are benefits for the person who can connect with another’s joy. Several studies show how witnessing another’s good fortune can activate the brain’s reward system. Beyond just feeling good, the ability to feel sympathetic joy has been linked to greater life satisfaction and happiness.
More sympathetic joy might also help make us a more compassionate society. More and more studies are finding a link with sympathetic joy and our willingness to help other people—and the likelihood we’ll actually do it.
Sympathetic joy also seems to result in better personal relationships. A 2018 paper found that “although having a partner who empathizes with one’s negative emotions is good for relationships, having a partner who (also) empathizes with one’s positive emotions may carry even greater benefits,” as the authors write....,more
Am I jealous? Nope. I feel really happy seeing a woman I love being adored by cats I love.
Scientists have a name for this feeling, which they borrowed from the Buddhist ethic of Muditā: sympathetic joy, which is sometimes called appreciative joy, empathic joy, vicarious reward, or (more broadly) positive empathy. By whatever name, it’s the unadulterated goodness we feel when something good happens for someone else.
That sounds great, but there are times when it can be hard to feel sympathetic joy, yes? Especially if we’re feeling personally threatened or unhappy with our own lives. There are many unpleasant emotions that can diminish the opportunity to share in other people’s joy: fear, jealousy, envy, stress, and resentment, among others.
Even if we do experience sympathetic joy with most people most of the time, there will still be times when we just want that warm fluffy cat on our own laps instead of someone else’s, or fall into despair over why the cat (or our boss, or the world) doesn’t like us as much. Research is starting to document why sympathetic joy happens and when it doesn’t. It’s discovering as well why sympathetic joy is good for us and good for the people around us—and how we can cultivate more of it in our lives. Here’s a rundown of what the research so far suggests.
The rewards of sympathetic joy
Sympathetic joy might sound noble, but what’s in it for you?
I’m kidding, sort of—in fact, there are benefits for the person who can connect with another’s joy. Several studies show how witnessing another’s good fortune can activate the brain’s reward system. Beyond just feeling good, the ability to feel sympathetic joy has been linked to greater life satisfaction and happiness.
More sympathetic joy might also help make us a more compassionate society. More and more studies are finding a link with sympathetic joy and our willingness to help other people—and the likelihood we’ll actually do it.
Sympathetic joy also seems to result in better personal relationships. A 2018 paper found that “although having a partner who empathizes with one’s negative emotions is good for relationships, having a partner who (also) empathizes with one’s positive emotions may carry even greater benefits,” as the authors write....,more