The Spirituality of Subtraction:

Becoming Minus Two
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Making Space for Others by
Becoming a Negative Number


Jay McDaniel​
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Francis of Assisi embodied a spirituality of subtraction. He let go of his property, his status, his pride, his ambition, his ego, and his need to be right. In this he was following Jesus, who let go of his very divinity, taking the form of a slave and humbling himself, undergoing a death on a cross to save the world. Francis and Jesus let go of what all that they had: human ego in one instance and divinity in the other. They emptied themselves. They are living examples of the spirituality of subtraction. At the heart of the spirituality of subtraction is a relinquishment, a dropping away, of the self-centered ego, even if it happens to be divine.

I want to extend the metaphor of subtraction with help from negative numbers. If you subtract five from three you arrive at minus two. What can it mean, spiritually speaking, to become minus two?

Metaphorically, it means subtracting from your mind two ideas. One is the idea that other people and the natural world always need your intervention in order to flourish. You are the fixer. Sometimes what is best for others is that you leave them alone, giving them space to flourish on their own. This is true of other people and it is also true of plants and animals. Sometimes they need space to be themselves.

The second idea to be subtracted is the idea that, if you aren't in control of things as the fixer, then at least God is in control. Subtracting this idea from your mind requires recognizing and trusting that good things can happen in the world with help from a God who is not in control: a God of influential but non-coercive love. This is the core idea of open and relational (process) theology.

When these two ideas are subtracted from your mind, you become a minus two. Being a minus two is a process, a verb not a noun. And it is a matter of degree. You can be more or less a minus two relative to circumstances.

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One sign of being a minus two is your capacity for active listening. Active listening is the act of fully concentrating on, understanding, and responding to what someone else is saying in a conversation or communication, without interrupting or making assumptions. It involves giving your full attention, showing empathy, and responding appropriately. It is non-judgmental, attentive, and gentle.

Another sign of being a minus two is your capacity not to be the center of attention or thinking that you ought to be the center of attention. This entails being humble, self-aware, and considerate of others' feelings and perspectives. It means valuing others' contributions and allowing them to shine, without feeling the need to constantly seek attention or validation for oneself.

It is very difficult for people with privilege and power to become minus two's. Often they are not very good listeners and they think they ought to be the center of attention. If they believe in spirituality, they see it is a spirituality of addition not subtraction. 

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The spirituality of addition is a problem in our world today. It is intensified by consumer culture, which sees everything in terms of acquisition. Drawing from Meister Eckhart and Francis of Assisi, the Center for Action and Contemplation describes the spirituality of addition this way:

"Meister Eckhart rightly pointed out that spirituality has much more to do with subtraction than it does with addition. I am sad to say that most spirituality in the West has largely become a matter of addition. This “spiritual consumerism” focuses on learning more spiritual ideas, earning merit badges from God, trying to attain enlightenment, and the will power of heroic moral behavior. Yet the counter-intuitive nature of the Jesus-journey shows it is not at all about getting, attaining, achieving, performing, or succeeding (all of which tend to pander to the ego). Jesus’ spirituality is much more about letting go of what we do not need anyway. It more often involves unlearning than learning. Jesus taught us the way of descent, which we later called “the way of the cross.” Like few other Christians, Francis profoundly understood such a major turn-around. He wanted God, not his ego, to steer his life; so he practiced letting go of his own will, his own needs, and his own preferences until he was free of their domination and able to find happiness at a much deeper and more truthful level." (A Spirituality of Subtraction)

​To this description let us add that, from an open and relational perspective, the desire for God, not the ego, to steer life does not entail the idea that divine steering is controlling. It is beckoning, luring, and inviting, but not commandeering. We can indeed be steered by God to become minus two's. And those of us who are privileged and powerful are especially needful of this.

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Open and relational theologians are well-known for saying that God's love is of the non-commandeering sort. God is not a puppeteer. They often that God's love comes in inwardly felt lures by which people and other living beings are guided but not controlled. Such love is persuasive but not coercive, empowering but not manipulative.

The spirit of minus two adds that sometimes genuine love is not even persuasive. It is withdrawing our presence from others so that they have space to flourish without being guided by us. We become, for them, a minus two. We listen but do not intrude, and sometimes we absent ourselves from their presence for their sake.

This kind of subtractive love is not appropriate in all circumstances. Other people do need to be guided, empowered, and helped in many circumstances. This kind of active love can be a very good thing. But the impulse to guide, empower, and help can itself become oppressive at times; and in some circumstances the most loving thing you can do for another is to leave them alone and let them be themselves. You must let them be.

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You may have a friend or family member who is struggling with their career or life goals. In this situation, the most loving thing you can do is to support their decisions, even if you don't necessarily agree with them. Encourage them to pursue their passions and interests, even if it means taking a non-traditional career path or making a major life change. By doing this, you are showing your loved one that you trust and believe in them, and that you want them to be happy and fulfilled in their life. You are also allowing your loved one to explore and discover their own path in life, which can lead to a more meaningful and rewarding life.

In contrast, if you were to try to interfere with your loved one's career or life goals, it could lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and self-doubt in your loved one. This could have long-term negative effects on their mental health and well-being. By letting your loved one be themselves without interference, you are ultimately showing them that you love and support them for who they are, and that their happiness and well-being are the most important things.

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If you have a child who identifies as LGBTQ+, you may struggle to accept their sexual orientation or gender identity, and feel the need to try to change or control them in some way. However, the most loving thing you can do in this situation is to let your child be themselves without interference. This means accepting and loving your child for who they are, without trying to change or suppress their sexual orientation or gender identity.
By doing this, you are not only showing your child unconditional love and support, but you are also helping your child to develop a sense of self-acceptance and self-worth. You are allowing your child to live authentically and true to themselves, which can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.

In contrast, if you were to try to interfere with your child's identity or suppress their true self, it could lead to feelings of shame, rejection, and self-doubt in your child. This could have long-term negative effects on their mental health and well-being. By letting your child be themselves without interference, you are ultimately showing them that they are loved and accepted for who they are, and that their happiness and well-being are the most important things.

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Subtracting the two ideas named earlier -  that the world needs your intervention and you ought to be the center of attention - requires what the philosopher Whitehead calls negative prehensions. In this case the object of your negative prehension is your future self. It is negatively prehending the idea that your self must be intervene in matters if good things are going to happen and you ought to be credited for them. Another name for it is "resisting temptation." 

Becoming a negative number is not relevant to people who are marginalized, victimized, ostracized, or dehumanized. Their need is to be heard. However, it is relevant to people who are too accustomed to being heard. Love is acting in a way that fosters the well-being of others. Sometimes the most important part of love is letting others be themselves, on their terms and in their ways, without interference. It is to become a negative number.

Good leaders always know how to become negative numbers. They know how to let other people flourish. Good nations do the same. They do not need to control everything. One of the best things that could happen in the world today is for the United States to become a negative number. 

- Jay McDaniel
 

Negative Numbers:
A Scholarly Discussion
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Melvyn Bragg and guests discuss negative numbers, a history of mystery and suspicion. In 1759 the British mathematician Francis Maseres wrote that negative numbers "darken the very whole doctrines of the equations and make dark of the things which are in their nature excessively obvious and simple". Because of their dark and mysterious nature, Maseres concluded that negative numbers did not exist, as did his contemporary, William Friend. However, other mathematicians were braver. They took a leap into the unknown and decided that negative numbers could be used during calculations, as long as they had disappeared upon reaching the solution. The history of negative numbers is one of stops and starts. The trailblazers were the Chinese who by 100 BC were able to solve simultaneous equations involving negative numbers. The Ancient Greeks rejected negative numbers as absurd, by 600 AD, the Indians had written the rules for the multiplication of negative numbers and 400 years later, Arabic mathematicians realised the importance of negative debt. But it wasn't until the Renaissance that European mathematicians finally began to accept and use these perplexing numbers. Why were negative numbers considered with such suspicion? Why were they such an abstract concept? And how did they finally get accepted? With Ian Stewart , Professor of Mathematics at the University of Warwick; Colva Roney-Dougal , Lecturer in Pure Mathematics at the University of St Andrews; Raymond Flood , Lecturer in Computing Studies and Mathematics at Kellogg College, Oxford.