A Cross-Cultural Friendship
Virginia McDaniel and Xie Yu
this story is in honor of Xie Yu
who passed away in 2018
* Chinese version of opening remarks, offered by Bangxiu Xie on July 30, 2013:
咱俩都在秋千架上——咱俩都在荡——咱们是朋友 弗吉尼亚·麦克丹尼尔与谢育之间的跨太平洋对话 （杰伊·麦克丹尼尔 引介） （谢邦秀 译） 这则故事显示英特网如何能够促进中美两国两位老人之间的跨越太平洋的友谊，亦能促生创造性。 其中一位老人是我的母亲，弗吉尼亚·麦克丹尼尔，现95岁高龄。她在JJB网站上撰有活到九十五，得闲思与悟一文，如有兴趣请您点阅。 我母亲在文章中谈到，生长变老就像在秋千架上荡。早先你以丰富有趣的方式被他人推着荡，但你也必须记得如何自己荡。人生的每一个阶段都有其需要荡起来的理由。坚持荡下去很重要。我母亲至今仍在荡。 谢育，生活在中国的一位我素未谋面的耄耋老者，现85岁高龄,看了这篇文章。他也知道，人生仿佛荡秋千。左侧照片中的老人就是他。他也退休了，也在学着如何荡过他的晚年时光。和我母亲一样，他也艰辛走过了近一个世纪的人生旅程。他亦依然在荡。 谢育之所以读到了这篇文章，是因为他的女儿，谢邦秀，是JJB网站的一位译者和作者。邦秀写了一篇关于她父亲的文章，即填词作诗可以在八十岁以后——我的父亲，一位过程中的填词者。 谢育借助于诗词在荡。他以一种古典的方式在创作——填（宋）词。读到我母亲的文章后，他感到受到激励，想要填词一首与她呼应。用他的话说，他想要表达“谢忱并与她分享荡的精神，尽管有时需要他人的帮助”。 就对外交往而言，人们认为有三种渠道。第一种是政府间的交往，第二种是非政府组织之间的交往，第三种是个人间的面对面交往。 在JJB共同体中，我们觉得第三种交往方式非常非常重要。当人们通过面对面的交往相互了解时，会创生一些美好的东西，更具体、更个人、更有创意、更富情感，远远超越通过前两种交往方式可能产生的效果。 如今，面对面的个人交往方式可以借助数字技术而发生。就字面意义而言，我母亲可能永远见不到谢育，反之亦然。但借助于英特网，一种小范围的个人间的友谊深深地触及到生命本身。当你读到下文中谢育的词作时，你会发现深沉的情感和深邃的智慧，这首词有英文版。你还会发现一颗炙热的心，抒发、渴求跨越太平洋的友情。我母亲亦如是。我母亲常说到一种包容的精神——她称之为一种神圣的精神——在其中，万物都能被爱。我知道，当她收到谢育的词作时，她感受到了这种精神的力量，（尽管它）来自遥远的中国。 我和邦秀心怀感恩地共享了二位老人的通信交往，我们感恩，因为她是我亲爱的母亲，他是她亲爱的父亲。谢育的词作见下文。 
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July, 2013
This is a story of how the internet can foster friendship across the Pacific between senior citizens from China and the United States, and also foster creativity. One of the senior citizens is my mother, Virginia McDaniel, aged 100 as I write. This photo of her is from when she was 85. She wrote a story on Open Horizons called Reflections on Long Life. Please take a look if you are interested. In the story my mother speaks of growing old as similar to swinging on a swingset. Early on you are pushed by others in wonderful ways, but you must also remember how to pump yourself. Each age in life has its own need for pumping. It is important to keep swinging. My mother is swinging even today. A man in China whom I have never met, Xie Yu, read it. He knew what it was like to swing, too. He is pictured on the left. He is retired and learning to work his way through the twilight of his life, too. He has lived through a century of struggle, as has my mother. He is a swinger. Xie Yu read it because his daughter, Xie Bangxiu, is a translator for Open Horizons and an author in her own right. Bangxiu had done a story on her father called Writing Poetry Begins After Eighty: My Father as a Poet in Process Xie Yu has has turned to poetry. He writes in a classical tradition called (sòng cí 宋词). After Xie Yu read the article by my mother, he felt inspired to write another poem for her. He wanted, in his words, to "convey my appreciation and willingness to share with her the spirit of swinging in life, though needing others’ help at times." In diplomatic circles people speak of three kinds of diplomacy: Track One (government to government), Track Two (nongovernmental organization to nongovernmental organization), and Track Three (face to face.) In the Open Horizons community we feel that the third type is very, very important. When people get to know each other face-to-face, something good happens that far transcends the other two tracks. It is more concrete, more personal, more creative and affectionate. And it occurs to us that, today, face-to-face diplomacy can occur with help from digital technologies. My mother will never see Xie Yu in a literal sense, and he will never see her. But a small friendship, with help from the internet, touches something as deep as life itself. When you read Xie Yu's poem below, which is translated into English, you will find deep feeling and also deep wisdom. You will also find a heart that reaches across the Pacific in friendship, just as my mother reaches across in the same way. My mother often speaks of an encircling spirit -- she speaks of this as a Holy spirit -- in which all things are loved. I know that when she received the poem from Xie Yu, she felt the workings of that spirit all the way from China. Bangxiu and I share their correspondence and Xie Yu's poem below, with thanks to both of them for being our beloved parents. For the Chinese version of these opening remarks, please scroll to the bottom of the page. . An email from Virginia McDaniel to Xie Yu (with the help of his daughter Xie Bangxiu) on 20 June, 2013 (Thursday)
Dear Bangxiu I am Jay’s mother and I want to thank you for all you do for Jay’s website. Most especially I want to thank your father for writing a song-poem. I thank you for reading an interview I gave my son, and was quite honored that he would write it. I send greetings to him in Gongan and encourage him to keep swinging, encircled by the love of his family and also a deeper love. I will keep swinging too, keeping in my mind my friend across the ocean. Sincerely, Virginia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (The Chinese version of Virginia’s email, translated by Xie Bangxiu) 亲爱的邦秀 我是杰伊的母亲，首先感谢你为杰伊的网站所做的一切。我要特别感谢你父亲所赐的诗作。感谢你读了我给我儿子的访谈录，很荣幸他为此作诗。我向在公安的他致以敬意，并鼓励他在家人的关爱下继续“荡”下去。我也会心怀大洋彼岸的朋友的祝福继续“荡”下去。 真诚的，弗吉尼亚 A short song-poem Xie Yu composes in response to Virginia McDaniel’s email, on 20 June, 2013, Thursday. 十六字令[1]•荡[2] ——献给弗吉尼亚.•麦克丹尼尔 谢育（中国湖北公安） 看到弗吉尼亚的来信，很高兴！很荣幸！特回此小令以致谢、共勉—-- 荡！ 飞越长江太平洋。 神交[3]往，因大爱无疆。 荡！ 世纪历程证自强。 包容心，积功德无量。 荡！ 访谈录荡气回肠[4]。 三生幸，享锦绣文章。 荡！ 共享和谐与彼方。 姐、弟谊，要地久天长。 注： [1] 十六字令：在中国诗词文学中，宋词是一种音乐文学，兼有文学与音乐两方面的特点。按音乐，宋词有令、引、近、慢之别。“令”一般比较短，“引”和 “近”一般比较长，而“慢”又较“引”和“近”更长。依其含有的汉字字数的多少，又有“小令”、“中调”、“长调”之分。58字以内为小令，59—90字为中调，90字以外为长调。十六字令指一首由16个汉字谱写成的小令。 [2] 荡：原指秋千来回摆动的动作、情态，这里隐喻人生仿佛荡秋千。因此“荡”的行为并不局限在秋千架上，“荡”的方式亦可多种多样——自己荡、帮别人荡、别人帮助荡，“荡”的精神宜传扬、共享。在人生的岁月里，大、小亊情都一样，都应与时偕进地“荡”起来。 [3] 神交：指精神上的交往，雖素未谋面，素不相识，但因慕名而在不知不觉中把对方当朋友。 [4] 荡气回肠：“荡”指“摆动”；“回”指“回转”；“荡气回肠”指使人肝肠回转、心气激荡，形容文章婉转动人。 二0一三年六月二十二日。 (The English version of Xie Yu’s short song-poem in response to Virginia McDaniel’s email, translated by Xie Bangxiu.) A 16-Character Ling[1] • Swinging[2] —--Dedicated to Virginia McDaniel Xie Yu（from Gongan, Hubei, the P.R.C.） On reading Virginia’s letter (the Chinese version translated by my daughter from the English original), I feel so happy and honored that I compose this short lìng (xiǎo lìng小令) to convey my appreciation and willingness to share with her the spirit of swinging in life, though needing others’ help at times. Swinging! Across the Yangtse and the Pacific. Spiritual communication[3] , out of borderless love, big. Swinging! Living through a century, struggles and self-improvement. Amassing boundless kindness, with inclusive hearts. Swinging! Reading words that enliven the mind[4]. Most fortunate, enjoying stories, splendid. Swinging! Sharing harmony from across the ocean. Lasting friendship, elder sister and younger brother. Notes： [1] In Chinese poetry, the song-poem is a type of musical literature, that is, it has the characteristics of both literature and music. According to its music, it consists of four types, lìng(令), yǐn(引), jìn(近), and màn(慢), of which lìng is the shortest, yǐn and jìn are longer (than lìng), while màn is the longest. According to the number of the Chinese characters it includes, a poem can be a “short lìng (xiǎo lìng小令)”, a “medium tone (zhōng diào中调)” or a “long tone (cháng diào长调)”, among which a “short lìng” is composed of less than 58 characters, “medium tone” of 59-90 characters, and “long tone” over 90 characters. A 16-character lìng is a short lìng (a short song-poem) consisting of 16 Chinese characters. [2] “swinging”: Originally, “swinging” refers to the action or situation in which a person swings on a swingset. In the context of this short poem, I use the term “swing” as a metaphor to help understand human life. In this sense, swinging is not limited to the swingsets, the ways we swing can be diverse --- we can swing by helping ourselves, helping others, or receiving help from others, and the spirit of swinging can be spread and shared anywhere possible. Hence, throughout our lifetime, and with time going on, we’ve got to become accustomed to doing things, big or small, by swinging, on our own or with other’s help. [3] spiritual communication: referring to the situation in which two people, though not knowing or never meeting with each other, unconsciously regard one another as friends out of admiration for each other and thus communicating or having dialogue with each other by spiritual means, like reading each other’s written works or writing letters to each other. [4] causing agitation in mind: referring to articles or books that are so touching and inspiring that they can deeply impress and greatly thrill people. (Composed on 22 June, 2013.) |